35F and I’m “ kind of” friends with this woman. I try to keep my distance on and off because she’s a chronic complainer and constantly negative. She’s married to a great guy and I’ve started dating his good friend who is incredible so we’ve all been spending a lot of time together. It’s been painfully obvious that her husband is unhappy and is hitting his breaking point. He is talking about it more openly with my BF and even asks me for advice. I’ve tried to give his wife some hints when we are alone together but none are taken. She has refused to be intimate with him for a long time, which is her right, don’t get me wrong. But even when we are double dating she spends all of her time on her phone, making snide remarks and digs to her husband, and if she does join the conversation, she starts complaining about some drama in her life. I consider her husband a good person and a friend and he’s being hurt, feels taken advantage of, and is asking for help. She blames her inability to be happy or close to her husband on health problems, but, unfortunately I know that her health issues are highly-fabricated and her addiction to pain pills is high, and I’ve seen her straight-faced lie to multiple people about it. She doesn’t want to work and I’ve also been aware of small “white lie/manipulations” to her husband as well. Such as her planning to set him up to use her car when it’s on empty so he will fill it with gas or keeping money she does get hidden from him. So, I hear her nonchalantly, almost in a cocky way, tell me these little things that she plans out, and then if he mentions anything she cries or flips out and gives him the angry, silent treatment for days. So, his 2 big stressors are the intimacy and finances and she shuts him down every time he brings either up. Her Facebook feed is full of complete lies, from big to small, fabricated happiness, but yet I feel like I’m watching a building burn down in flames and about to explode, and I feel like I should warn her and ask her to think about all she is about to lose. She does not take criticism well. I tried once and got blasted. And if she’s complaining in a group setting and receives advice, she completely ignores it and keeps bitching. I honestly feel like she sets up every day and every “stressor” in her daily life in order to create tension and anger between them in order to not have to confront her own problems or be close to him in any way. It seems to be so planned out that on a certain day of the week, I know exactly what she’s going to be freaking out about that day. Do I watch the building burn down to the ground, or do I try to say something to her, even though I’m 99% sure she will completely turn on me with spite and anger, gossiping behind my back as she does about all of her other friends? I feel like I just want her completely out of my life and not to mess with it. I’ve been seeing my new BF a lot more on my own now so perhaps I can slowly back away from her. That may be the answer but I just want to know if I should at least try to warn her in case she is just truly oblivious.
TLDR: this “girl friend” is a train wreck. Do I warn her that her marriage is about to crash and burn, even if just for her kids’ sake, or do I distance myself from the negativity before it gets worse?
Submitted December 22, 2019 at 06:08PM by Brg411snipply https://ift.tt/393wlyx
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