Boyfriend (24M) family is making me (23F) reconsider our relationship and I don't know what to think

I have been dating my boyfriend nearly a year and a half and despite some bumpy situations overall I feel happy and satisfied in my relationship. The one thing that does bother me though is his family, and this is something I'm starting to think about as our relationship gets more serious. I find his family a bit odd - whenever I go over his parents just say hello how are you and they don't really start any conversations. I'm in grad school and they never really ask me how my studies are or anything in my life. My boyfriend has said before that his parents were emotionally neglectful growing up (forgetting his birthday, not showing up to his sports matches, not caring about his education) so I don't know if their behaviour is just a reflection of that.

He has an older brother who's 28 and still lives at home that has rage issues and he spends the majority of his time playing video games. Whenever I try to talk to him he's too distracted by video games to actually hold a conversation. My boyfriend has a younger sister who's 20 and super duper quiet so our conversations never really go anywhere. He's really close to his female cousin and her boyfriend that we used to hang out with regularly and they give me really weird vibes.

My boyfriend's cousin has made really offensive comments about my name and the fact that it's of a different ethnicity. One time my boyfriend and I were joking about weddings and I mentioned maybe we could include things from my culture and she said it would be weird. She can also be a bit condescending at times and asks if I drink and if I'm okay with her drinking and swearing. I don't think these weird vibes are due to race because we are the same race just with different ethnic backgrounds.The only people in his family that I really connect with are his older cousins in their late 30s/early 40s that I don't really see that often.

A couple days ago we went to celebrate his birthday and I was little late to the restaurant and when I walked towards the table his sister, cousin and her boyfriend didn't even acknowledge me at all. I tried asking his sister about school and exams but she said she didn't wanna talk about it. His cousin gave me a ride back home and when I said thank you she didn't even respond.

I've discussed how I've been feeling with my mom and although she likes my boyfriend she says that families can often make or break relationships, and said that I shouldn't marry into a family who isn't welcoming. That families can meddle in marriages and create toxic and unwelcoming environments, and that's not the future she sees for me. I'm not really sure what to think. There really isn't any reason for them to dislike me. All this is making me think about the future of my relationship.

Has anyone else been through something like this before?

tl;dr

Submitted December 07, 2019 at 06:06AM by spycegyal96100 https://ift.tt/2rt3ov9