My boyfriend [25M] of 1.5 years grabbed me [23F] by the back of the neck during an argument last night and I'm not sure if I should leave him or not

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. Last night, we got into an argument over a stupid misunderstanding. Well the argument blew up and he got really mad. When he gets mad, it's like a raging bull who only sees red. It's someone I completely don't recognize. Anyway, he was yelling and ripped the blacklight bar off the wall and raised it up like he was going to hit me with it. He didn't, but I thought he was going to.

A few minutes later, we were still arguing and I'll admit I made an immature move. I was so angry with him (mostly for acting like he was going to hit me with the light bar) that I grabbed some of his stuff to carry it into the other room with me. He chased after me, grabbed me by the back of the neck, and drug me over to the table where his stuff was and screamed at me to put it all down. I didn't put his stuff down because I refuse to let him think he can put his hands on me to get what he wants. Maybe this was immature, I don't know. When I refused to put his stuff down, he gripped tight on the back of my neck and shook me. My neck still hurts a day later.

A little later he wasn't the raging bull, but still visibly irritated. I tried explaining to him why it's wrong to act that way, how being mad is not an excuse to treat people that way, and that I have PTSD from a previous abusive relationship (a relationship he is fully aware about) and he can't treat me that way because it sends me right back to reliving the horror of my ex. He refused to apologize until today.

I don't know if I should leave him or not. There was one other time where he acted like he was going to hit me but didn't (it was also during an argument while he was raging angry), but other than that, he doesn't exhibit any of the red flags my abusive ex had. He's only gotten this mad a handful of times during our 1.5 year relationship, and when he's not this mad, he's literally everything I could ask for in a man. He opens doors for me, surprises me with love letters, gets along great with my family, and would do anything I ask of him. But I don't know if I can live like this, having to worry about whether or not he's going to actually hurt me every time we get into a bad argument.

Am I overreacting?

TL;DR: during an argument, my boyfriend raised a blacklight bar like he was going to hit me with it and also grabbed me by the back of the neck and drug me halfway across the living room when I grabbed his stuff. I don't know if I should leave him or not.

Submitted November 15, 2019 at 06:58PM by delelg18 https://ift.tt/32TEVvs