Me and my husband have been married just days short of half a year, and I'm emotionally and mentally detached. We had no honeymoon phase after the wedding, no lovey dovey sparks or excessive levels of lovemaking. Nothing felt different from before, where it felt as though I was constantly being set off by things he did or didn't do, and I had to literally beg him for sex--we had sex once in all of this October.
Regardless, he does take care of me--drives me to work cause he wants to, gives me massages cause I have scoliosis and my back is always in pain, brings me snacks and drinks-- but he doesn't romance me. When I brought this up to him, he only referenced expensive dates and trips, which I was worried about. That he didn't understand how to romance me outside of expensive things and stopped trying.
I'm the unhappiest I've ever been and the thought of being single almost sounds like a relief. Yet the thought of him being with anyone else makes me sick to my stomach. I try time and time to talk to him as amiably as possible, but it always turns into him victimizing himself and making it almost into a competition of who has it worse, even when I beg for a constructive, fair conversation so I can hear his side to things. I brought up couple therapy but he shot it down, saying if he couldn't comfortably talk to me, then what was the point?
I'm so exhausted. My fierce loyalty is keeping me in place, keeping me talking, keeping me forcing myself to get over what's bothering me and show affection so he at least feels better. I'm just no longer sure what to do.
TL;DR Short marriage is already on the rocks but I'm scared to give up, despite feeling completely detached
Submitted November 01, 2019 at 10:52AM by tinytexana https://ift.tt/34oa3Vb
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