So my boyfriend (17M) and I (17F) have been together a couple months now, a month or so back we were walking to his place when we saw a prostitute passing by so our conversation became about her and it led to him saying something along the lines of “she probably has a loose worn out nasty pussy, kinda like yours. why /does/ your pussy look like that babe?” for reference, i have larger labia. That hurt so much I couldn’t even think of anything to say back, so after an awkward silence he tries to play it off like he’s kidding. Then a few days/weeks later, after we had finished being intimate, he was sitting up on the end of the bed looking sad so I inquired him about it and he insists it’s nothing (when it’s obviously something) so I pressed it and was asking him if he’s satisfied and he eventually gives in and says he didn’t enjoy it, but it’s not worth arguing because “it’s not like you can change your pussy” and this was the nail in the coffin of my self esteem. There are also a handful of other more insignificant times where he’s made jokes about “Arby’s” or “beef curtains” around our mutual friends, which, to an extent, made me uncomfortable around even my friends, putting my deepest insecurities on blast when he knows I’m insecure. Besides all this stuff he really is a sweet guy who cares for me, and he says he loves me and I really love him but I always feel insecure around him since his comments, and even weeks later after we talked it out I still can’t feel comfortable again, with him or even myself. My ex made fun of my body (specifically, my vagina) after we ended things and I told my boyfriend about that and how insecure I already am in my body, yet he doesn’t seem to care. Our conversation doesn’t flow like it used to because I’m a lot more reserved around him now, without even meaning to be. My self esteem has been at an all time low since, and I kind of want to just end our relationship before I end up hurting myself from hating myself so much, but I feel like it’s not a justifiable reason because he is being nicer and doesn’t say shit like that anymore since we talked about it, but the damage is already done; I know he still thinks about me that way, regardless of whether he vocalizes those thoughts. Idk what to do anymore, I’ve tried to end it with him before and he got super depressed and was talking about how I’m all he has and without me he has no reason to live so I couldn’t go through with it, but I need something to change because I can’t keep going on how I am.
tl;dr my boyfriend has made multiple comments about how off-putting my labia is, and it’s destroyed my self esteem and makes me feel uncomfortable in an otherwise fulfilling relationship. We’ve had an open dialogue about it and he’s stopped saying such things, but the damage is done and I don’t know how to fix things or if I even should.
Submitted November 01, 2019 at 05:07PM by jus_a_burner https://ift.tt/2Nwxu82
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