I am 26 and my partner is 27. We had a baby in April and I had to have an emergency c section. I got pregnant on basically a one night stand with an old ex (my current partner now, I was single at the time and fresh out of an abusive relationship).
It's a very long and complicated story involving alot of trauma but my parents bought us a house to rent and I decided to give it a go because I didn't want to not even give him a chance to raise his child.
During pregnancy they found a cyst on my cervix which has increased in size since pregnancy. I had a low libido before all of this but now its essentially dead. I have surgery to remove the cyst underway in the next few months.
My partner is extremely high libido and this effects him alot. He is highly affection driven but I'm scared to show him much because every time I do, he turns it sexual.
I probably give in to mutual masturbation or giving him a handjob once a fortnight to try and keep him somewhat happy.
He has a mental illness which causes him to be very unmotivated. He doesnt work, look after his hygiene or help with the baby. He just does what I call 'lumping'. Essentially he lies on the bricks out the back or on the floor somewhere in the house and just 'lumps'. Not sleeps. Just does nothing.
I've tried to communicate to him better hygiene and helping me with the baby might help my libido but I can't make those promises. PIV hurts and the idea of anything sexual sounds like such a chore. I get limited time to myself and I'm always so tired.
Its gotten to a point where we have decided on him moving out, for this reason, financial issues and just him not having much life experience. Really, I'm just sick of watching him do nothing and make more mess for me to clean. I've suggested councilling but he hates therapy, is very paranoid and will not have it on the table.
I'm hoping he leaves early next year as is planned. I found his best friend a well paying job so it should be in the works soon. We have decided for him to spend one or two nights a week with myself and the baby after he leaves but I just can't see my sex drive returning.
Is there anything I can do to help this situation or is it a lost cause? Is my low libido reasonable or am I being uncompassionate? Am I entitled to want him to leave?
Tl;dr my partner and I's libidos are clashing hard and its contributing to a break down in the relationship
Submitted November 25, 2019 at 12:39AM by BelleFlower420 https://ift.tt/2rtvcyX
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