I (26f) want to save my relationship with my boyfriend (26m) but don’t know if things are salvageable at this point

This post is likely going to be pretty long, since there isn’t one specific issue to be addressed, but rather a series of things that have come to my attention.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over two years, and just signed a year long lease on an apartment together last month.

However, for the past 6-8 weeks, my boyfriend has become incredibly negative about nearly every aspect of our relationship.

It first started when he announced that he needed a break from us. This was caused by frequent petty arguments, largely due to a lack of communication skills on both parts, as well as him being under immense pressure at work.

I’ll admit that I didn’t handle things well, I broke down in tears and asked to at least attempt to work on our communication before taking a break from the relationship. He began crying too, and said he wants to work on things as well and agreed to not go through with the break.

Things seemed okay temporarily, but then he became constantly irritated all the time, and any attempt by me to ask what was bothering him only made things worse. He got increasingly angry, and even started an argument in a restaurant over soy sauce, yes soy sauce, that left me in tears.

We eventually worked things out again the next day, and he asked for my patience while he tried to find the “spark” in the relationship again, but assured me that he still loved me.

Things have pretty much gotten worse since then, as he’s began to withdraw affection, and only initiates any kissing or touching before and after sex.

He seems constantly distracted and disinterested (a lot of the time he won’t even make eye contact) when I speak to him, and when I attempt to talk about the relationship, he becomes very critical of me.

Just a few days ago, he told me that he doesn’t feel appreciated anymore, and honestly I don’t know how that’s possible. His birthday was very recent, and I paid for a trip out of town that involved a ton of fun activities, and I set up an opportunity for him to drive his “dream car”, a very expensive exotic car, while there. I made him breakfast in bed, wrote him a heartfelt birthday card that included the things that I love about him, and have just generally tried to keep the same fun energy that used to be a big part of our relationship alive.

I tell him that I love him, I give him the things he desires sexually multiple times a week, I keep our apartment clean, give gifts, etc... basically every love language I could possibly speak to him, yet he still somehow doesn’t feel appreciated.

I think that tonight was the biggest slap in the face I’ve received, though. As he left for a work event, I told him I loved him and gave him a goodbye kiss, and he purposely half kissed my mouth/my face and said “I like you too”. He quickly played it off as a joke and said he loves me too. But fuck that one stung.

Despite all of this, he says he still wants to work on the relationship, that he’s trying his best and still loves me very much... but just doesn’t “feel” anything.

I don’t know what to do at this point. Obviously I WANT to keep trying, I want to keep putting in effort because I do love this man very much despite the fact that I’m receiving very little from him lately.

I guess that’s why I’m turning to the internet, to figure out if things can be saved once they reach this point. Surely other couples have made it through worse and recovered their once-loving and happy relationships? We used to be fantastic together until we hit a bump in the road and started arguing over little insignificant things.

I guess honestly I’m just not quite ready to give up, and I’m hoping someone might tell me all my efforts won’t be in vain. Then again I’m open to any honest opinion.

TLDR boyfriend seems to have checked out emotionally but insists he still loves me. He’s irritable and angry but loves me and thinks there’s still a chance, despite his inability to currently “feel” anything. Not sure what to do at this point.

Submitted November 05, 2019 at 04:31PM by fflthrowaway55 https://ift.tt/2JRWPrW