I (20M) have just learned half of my friend group don't actually like me. How do I leave these friends without starting drama between them and the friends in the group who do like me?

Okay, I need to give a bit of background to make this more clear. I'm a second year college student and I've had this group of friends since about this time last year. I didn't force my way in or anything, I got invited to join by someone in the group. This is a fairly large friend group but the most relevant people to our story are C (19F), K (19F), and H (19M) who were all in the group and I hung out with regularly, then there's E (19M) and B (19M) who were apart of the group but we didn't hang out often until his year due to schedules and other factors.

So, I pretty much have had these friends for a while, and things were good. I got invited to hang out with them all the time, and we had tons of fun together and our personalities really clicked, or at least I thought that. Then this year, things changed. I was only ever invited to things by K, who is one of my best friends. The rest of them only really ever hung out with me when I was with K, and I started to suspect that they didn't enjoy having me around and just let me hang with them because K and I were close and she wanted me around. I contemplated this and kind of split from the group for a few days to figure some things out. I chalked it up to my paranoia, since I have a fear of being alone I figured I was just projecting my fears and making it just seem like no one liked me. K hit me up after all this to say that everyone was wondering where I was, so I also felt like this was a sign that they cared.

Things went smooth for a while until last night. I was hanging out with B and E most of the day and I heard about their plans to hang out later that night in E's dorm. Note, they didn't tell me, I heard them talking about it to K that morning. I wasn't eavesdropping, I was sitting at the table with them and they made no effort to hide the plans so I assumed they were cool with me coming. Fast forward to later when it's just B and myself, we're heading back to the dorms and he asks me what I plan on doing. I tell him i have nothing better to do, so I figured I'd go hang with them in E's dorm. B says that they never hammered out the details so he doesn't know when they're hanging out and it's still early. Note, that is not entirely true, they planned to start at 10 from what I heard, but I was only like 9 at the time and he either could've forgot the time or they started changing the time when I wasn't listening so I didn't think much of it. We part ways and I hang out in my dorm for awhile waiting for one of them to hit me up and tell me it's time. Note again, this party only consisted of B, E, H, and C. K and the others had plans.

At 9:40 I hear music blasting from E's dorm (which is right next to mine). I figured they must have just forgot to let me know so I go over to E's dorm and start knocking. The room goes from people yelling and music playing to just music playing. Now, I have to preface this again, I was not eavesdropping or putting my ear on the door. I heard everything loud and clear from the hallway. This is what I heard after one of them looked through the peephole.

H: "How did he know about the party?"

E: "He was with us all day of course he knows."

They don't open the door or anything. I just kind of stand there in shock. I had a weird gut feeling I wasn't their favorite person in the group, but I didn't realized they disliked me to this degree. So, I'm hurt and confused so I just stand there for a minute or two trying to figure out what to do, then this happens.

E: "He's still outside."

C: "That's so funny."

So, after that I go to one of my friends outside this group to vent about my frustrations. How I feel like the 11 year old brother tagging along with the cool teenagers because mom said so but none of the teens actually wants around. How I feel like I've tried so hard to be a good friend and someone fun to be around. How I feel like I tried to be a considerate and helpful friend. How I feel like the past year has been a lie.

Before everyone tells me to cut them off for being fake friends, I know that already. I'm going to do just that. My real problem is how this is going to effect everyone else in the group. The last thing I want to do is create drama that would split the group because my real friends and fake friends and still super close to each other right now and I'd hate to ruin that. hey may have treated me poorly, but he group of fakes are still good people, I just think they tried to spare my feeling with dishonesty without realizing that the lies would hurt more than anything else. I assume this because they did it to another person before they left the friend group. I know, I know, red flag was in fact red.

TL;DR - I found out about my fake friends and want to leave them behind without causing infighting and drama between them and my real friends.

Submitted November 09, 2019 at 04:55AM by Deadbolt1911 https://ift.tt/2WYP6xz