My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years. We have a great relationship and want to move in together. However, my boyfriend currently lives with his two brothers (19M & 24M). The 19-year-old brother is working a part-time job one or two days a week, refuses to take more hours even though he could, and doesn't contribute to the rent. The 24-year-old quit his job over a year ago and is living on welfare, using that to pay his share of rent. My boyfriend has a part-time job but works a good amount of hours and uses that to pay for his share of rent.
The 24 year old brother is the one that has been manipulating my boyfriend. He's living off welfare but has not been searching for another job. He has plans to take classes to get his GED. Classes haven't started yet.
My boyfriend told him in the spring that he wants to move out and live with me in July, so he's gonna have to get a job to be able to pay the rent and find another roommate. The brother wasn't happy about it. By July the brother hadn't taken any action. My boyfriend felt bad and delayed moving.
My boyfriend then told him that he's gonna move out with me in September. The brother did nothing in that time to find work or a roommate AGAIN, and in August my boyfriend told me he won't be moving out.
Now it's November and I told my boyfriend that I'm fed up, please go talk to your brother and tell him you're moving out. We need to start our lives together. This time, the brother got angry and said that if my boyfriend leaves, he'd be leaving his brothers homeless. I think this is a total manipulation move. We've given him plenty of time to find a job and roommate, and they're adults and need to be able to support themselves.
My boyfriend feels stuck between his brothers and me. He feels like he owes it to his brothers to take care of them as their parents never did (abuse, mental illness), but he wants to live with me and be happy. I don't know what to do. Should I talk to his brother and tell him to grow up and stop relying on my boyfriend? Or do I need to stay out of it?
TL;DR: my boyfriend's brother won't let him move out, saying he'd leave him homeless if he did. Should I talk to the brother or stay out of it?
Submitted November 09, 2019 at 05:39AM by Relationsthrowaway78 https://ift.tt/33wULh1
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