My mom is dead set on convincing us to hate our dad even though they’re still together

My mom always seems dead set on having us hate our dad even though they’ve been married for almost 30 years.

For example growing up she’d always really play into the “single mother” angle because my dad travelled so much for work. I always saw this as my dad doing everything he could for us and he has always shown that he feels guilt over this. He never attended a dance recital or a cheer competition because he was away working.... and this afforded my mom to be able to work VERY part time (about 20 hours a week). But growing up she would always make it clear that SHE was raising us.

Even now as an adult (I’m 28) she will tell me every single fight her and my dad get into and why it’s his fault. Every time something good happens to me at work or in life she’ll attribute it to herself or her genes or anything. If I get a promotion it’s not because I’m hard working like my dad, it’s because I’m passionate like her. Any time someone compares me to my dad she freaks out and says I’m nothing like him. However, if I get anxious in life about money or anything, I got that from him. My dad is also very Mediterranean looking and my mom is very English/British looking. I look very Mediterranean, darker skin and eyes. And if anyone compliments my looks or tells me I’m beautiful or say I look like my dad I have seen my mom literally cry over this.....

I have tried to talk to her before about this. I have asked her not to denigrate my father in front of me but she absolutely does not respect this. Is this normal? I remember once someone telling me I didn’t know what it was like to be married to someone for 30 years and you become resentful but I can’t imagine feeling this way about my SO, especially if there were kids in the mix. What do you guys think?

Tl;dr: my mom and dad have been married for 30 years but my mom seems to have NOTHING good to say about him and doesn’t think anything good about me comes from him and I don’t know how to deal with it.

Submitted September 02, 2019 at 07:46PM by shouldwecallyou91 https://ift.tt/34llFZW