My [35M] fiance bought a house without consulting with me [29F] and I'm not sure how to feel about it

I met Mark 3 years ago through some friends and we clicked right away. We moved in together after 6 months, and just three months ago he asked me to marry him, which I happily agreed to. In general our relationship has been going great. Really there are no ups and downs, it's just been a great steady ship that we are both excited to be on. We generally agree on most things, finances included so that we have never had any major disagreements we couldn't quickly work through.

Now when it comes to finances Mark does make quite a bit more money than me and he already has some substantial savings (while mine are quite meagre in comparison). We have dealt with this mismatch by using an income based formula to pay for shared expenses that we both think is fair and I think works well for us. However, otherwise our finances are completely separate, so we both deal with our own personal expenses, retirement, etc.

A few days ago Mark mentioned that a friend of a friend of his was moving away soon and was planning on selling a small beachside condo and asked Mark if he wanted to check it out first. This friend didn't (permanently) live in that condo but mostly used it as a rental property but was now moving out of the country and felt that having such a major asset tied up in the US didn't make sense. Mark mentioned to me that he was intrigued by the option and that he was going to look at the place. My impression was that Mark wasn't really thinking about it that seriously but was simply trying to satisfy his curiosity. Needless to say I was stunned when Mark came back and said that he decided to liquidate some of his investments and buy the place!

I tried to be happy, but I ended up expressing my disappointment that he didn't discuss such an incredibly major purchase with me first. Mark apologized, but said that 1) he had mentioned to me the possibility of buying this place, 2) he only used his existing investment funds to cover the purchase, and 3) apparently there had been another offer so he had to act fast. The second point was the one he emphasized the most. He said we are currently managing our own investment portfolio and that the purchase was akin to him just exchanging one investment for another. He also emphasized that the house would be managed by of a rental company so it really wouldn't affect him at all, although we could choose to stay there whenever we wanted to of course.

One the one hand I do understand these arguments, and we both agreed to keep our finances separate until marriage. Nevertheless, I still feel a bit hurt that he didn't involve me in such a major decision more. I think Mark understands my concerns because we started talking in detail about how we deal with merging our income and finances once we marry (which we had previously discussed). I do think we are on the same page there and he has been very good in trying to reassure me that we would be a team not just in vague terms, but in terms of talking about the specifics of how we will deal with finances in a way we both agreed on.

In writing all this in some ways I feel like from a purely logical standpoint I have nothing to complain about since Mark treated me completely fairly and at no point put my interests in jeopardy. But at the same time I just can't really shake this uneasy feeling and it's been bumming me a bit out...

tl;dr: My fiance decided to buy a beachside condo as an investment without really discussing it with me. I am torn between feeling that it wasn't really my business and feeling hurt that he didn't discuss it with me more.

Submitted August 01, 2019 at 07:17AM by fiancerealtysurprise https://ift.tt/2OzmISi