Sorry I'm on mobile so I'll try and be brief.
So me (26fl and my fiancee (28m) have been together for about 6 years now, engaged for 2 and living together for 5. I moved to the east coast to be with him while he was in the military and unfortunately we are still here due to his work and being unable to get a good job back home on the west coast where I am from and really want to move back to.
I've never really been super skinny and have had a lot of self esteem issues and depression since I was young and after living here for a couple years I became extremely depressed and gained a ton of weight. My fiancee also gained a ton of weight from being out of the military but despite the occasional comment about how much he misses being skinny, he has told me hes okay with his body.
About 5 months ago I had finally had enough of feeling like crap and hating my body all the time so I started a diet and began going to the gym 5 to 6 days a week. At first my fiancee said hed join me for all of this and we would do this whole weight loss thing together. However, he gave up nearly a month in and said he just didn't feel that compelled cause he was okay with his life and body. That's cool, I support him on it and wouldn't ever force him to do something he wouldn't want to do.
I do most of the cooking so for most meals he eats the same things I do, but any other time he eats whatever fast food he feels at the time and only drinks soda.
Now here's the part where I feel like biggest asshole ever.
I've lost about 55 pounds of my 80 pound goal and I feel amazing! I look better and have more energy and it's great! However, I've noticed my attraction to my fiancee has dwindled greatly. I never want to have sex with him anymore and when we do I honestly feel... almost disgusted by his body especially when hes on top. It's become unenjoyable for me and I dont know what to say or do to help this situation.
I have tried to talk about him losing weight too by making it about him feeling healthier and I worry about his health later in life (his family has a history of diabetes) but I feel like the most shallow person to say anything more than or to pressure him into losing weight since it's his body and he can do what he wants but at the same time our sex life is basically dead and I can tell hes noticing my lack of sexual drive towards him.
What the heck can I do to talk to him about this without sounding like a total shallow asshole? Is there any way to do this or am I just destined to fail here? I feel terrible about this I truly do
Tl;dr I lost a lot of weight to help with my depression and self esteem but fiancee hasnt and now I've lost all sexual attraction to him and dont know how to talk about it without being a total asshole
Submitted July 12, 2019 at 07:45PM by throwaway7193o https://ift.tt/2Lj8YbN
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