I (30f) had a brief emotional affair while my husband (33m) and I were on the rocks. Should I tell him?

My husband and I have been married for 4 years and together for 8. A little over a year ago we were having terrible problems and talked about getting divorced or separating several times. During this time I became very close with a male coworker. We started out as friends and over several months the relationship grew closer. I leaned on him for support during the problems with my husband. I began fantasizing about what life would be like with him and I found myself sexually attracted to him. The feelings were mutual, I later found out. He had a long term girlfriend at the time. We spent a lot of time talking about our feelings but we were never physical. My husband was aware of my friendship with this man and I was always truthful about hanging out with him (for example we would go to happy hour with coworkers or we would get coffee during work breaks).

Since then my husband and I have fixed our issues and seem to be moving in the right direction. We also moved to another state and I have a completely different job so I don’t see my old coworker anymore. However, the other night while drinking my husband asked me if I’ve ever cheated on him with this particular man. Although I was never physical with him, I do feel I crossed the line into an emotional affair. When my husband asked me that question I was slightly intoxicated and caught off guard so I instinctively said no. He then quickly changed the subject.

My husband clearly sensed something was up. I want to tell him the truth but I am terrified of how he will react. I love him so much and I feel like we are finally in a good place. But holding this in is killing me inside and the fact that he directly asked me and I lied is crushing me. We have talked about relationship dealbreakers in the past and he always said he would leave me if I slept with someone else. Clearly I didn’t do that (it wasn’t even something I considered doing). However I don’t know how he will react to this. Please help. I don’t know what to do.

TLDR; I had an emotional affair over a year ago with a coworker that was never physical. My husband asked me if I ever cheated on him with this man and I told him no. Should I tell him the truth or leave this in the past?

Submitted July 02, 2019 at 09:04PM by Beebs1889 https://ift.tt/2KWwStC