Been together 2 years and boyfriend [26M] doesn't know why he can't say "I love you" back to me [26F]. Am I silly for waiting this long?

Hi everyone,

Looking for some advice on my situation - here's a little background;

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, now. Things started off great and very smooth, however about 6 months in I grew pretty depressed due to the grief of losing a parent. I opened up a couple times but he was not super responsive to it, and I struggle with talking to people about my grief. I feel guilty for sharing things because I know it might make people uncomfortable. I shared this with him as well. So we never really talked much about what I was experiencing, I did see a therapist, but eventually he told me he felt I was unhappy and things had changed since we started seeing each other, so why are we together? I explained that I was unhappy personally, but working through it, and I loved him. Now, I wish I had said this to him in a happier time and I somewhat regret the timing, but I meant it and I still do.

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He said he didn't feel the same way, but we agreed to work on things and continue. Fast forward about a year, things are great when we're together but there's not a lot of progression emotionally. I get frustrated that he doesn't have the same feelings as me, and we talk about it. He said he doesn't know why he's not in the same place as me, and hates feeling like he's in the wrong. We talked about it, I explained that I understood I wasn't really myself during the hardest part of my grief and it was tough on the relationship, and that I get why he might have had trouble reaching that next step because of that.

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Since, things have been great between us when we see each other. I still love him and care about him, but as time continues I'm starting to hear voices in the back of my head asking why I'm spending time and effort on someone that can't love me. (If it matters, we've talked about prior relationships and he has been in love before). I'm wondering if I should have more self-respect and walk away, because it's starting to affect my self confidence. I'm starting to question what's wrong with me. But then the other half of me tells me to be patient, and to enjoy each other while we're together.

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Sorry for the ramble, it all felt relevant. I guess what I'm asking is - am I putting too much pressure on a word? Is there a conversation we should have? Is there a line between being patient and just being pathetic? I'm nervous that I'm trying to force a puzzle piece into the wrong spot and maybe I should just accept that we have a great chemistry but we're not meant to go beyond that. Has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice on how to proceed? Feel free to tell me if I'm being dramatic.

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TL;DR: I love my boyfriend but he hasn't gotten to that point, and after 2 years it's getting to my head and affecting my own confidence. Looking for advice on how long I should be waiting and how to proceed.

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Thanks for reading all this, appreciate any input!

Submitted July 15, 2019 at 08:33AM by dfghfh678 https://ift.tt/2lH4Gzt