My girlfriend [19F] is emotionally unstable so we can’t have a real convo, and I’m afraid to break up with her. Am I being unrealistic?

My girlfriend [19F] and I [20 M] have been together for 3 years and the passion is fading. Being together is nice(aside from all the fighting) but when I’m away from her I have no desire to make new plans to see her. It’s like it has become a routine and it’s not that I DON’T want to see her, but it’s not like I really do either. Am I being unrealistic for not thinking this relationship will work out?

Here’s some of our issues. I’m adventurous, she’s not. She won’t even go in the ocean because she’s afraid a shark will attack, but I want to try everything(within reason).

She spends a lot of money on clothes and stupid little things. She gets more than one package every day. And then she complains about being broke. I know that being a shop-a-holic is a real thing but it’s hard for me to understand.

She is very childish, and she looks to her mother to make every decision for her. If I’m out shopping with her and she finds something she likes, she calls her mom and asks her if she should buy it, describes it, sends a picture, and then waits for her moms decision. This is like a 10 minute process and sometimes she doesn’t even listen to her mom. She asks her mom if she can come over, and she has dinner at home almost EVERY NIGHT. So when we go to dinner it’s usually her second dinner.

Oh, and we haven’t had sex in over a year. Never ONCE has she initiated sex and it used to make me feel sort of unwanted. So I decided I’m not going to initiate things again until she does... which she never has. With all the time that has gone by I find myself no longer attracted to her. I don’t even fantasize about her anymore. I almost dread the thought of it.

I find myself preferring to stay home and play video games rather than drive to her house to spend time with her unless it has been a couple of days, then I feel like I probably should so I do. I feel like this relationship is beyond repair.

My brother passed away a couple of years ago and at first I thought that was why I lost my sex drive but lately I find myself attracted to new people. I would never pursue them while in another relationship, but I’m scared to break up with her. This girl is highly unstable. She’s not the type to tell me she’ll kill herself if I try to break up with her. She’s they type that would just do it. It seems dramatic but she is in a very bad place and she seems to find her happiness and security in me so I would hate to do this to her. She’s my best friend, truly, and I love a ton. But it feels like we are just friends.

I know this is only my side of the story, but I also worry that I’m not treating her right, and that she’d be better off without me.

TL;DR - My girlfriend and I have clashing personalities and haven’t had sex in over a year but lately I don’t even want sex from her. She’s immature and we fight quite a bit but she can’t handle a real talk about our problems because she’s emotionally unstable. Does this warrant a breakup or am I being unrealistic?

Submitted June 21, 2019 at 09:02AM by throwaway64729736 http://bit.ly/2ZHOHzV