My (38F) younger sister (20F) sent me a scathing text message after I sent a Happy Father's Day message to my Dad

TL;DR - my 20 year-old sister sent me an insulting and personally attacking text message after I reached out to my estranged father and wished him a Happy Father's Day.

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Long story short, my parents and I don't really speak much. I made a decision in my love life that my mother didn't agree with (broke up with a long term partner of 7 years and started dating someone new shortly after - no cheating). Since then, it was tacitly understood that I was to hide half of who I am and not talk about my new partner or any part of my life that has to do with him. I never offered any info. My mother never asked. My new partner has never been invited to any family events and I've been told he's not welcome (mother has only met him once). We've been together 2 years now - own a house, started a business together. In March, I decided it was too emotionally draining to continue suppressing a large part of who I am and decided, for my own mental health and well-being, that I was not going to engage in any conversation with my mother via text. She has sent roughly 4 messages in the last six months to which I have not responded (as I deemed them to be emotionally manipulative and am actively trying to remove that kind of toxicity from my life). I did not message her on Mother's Day. I do not speak to my father much either. Mostly because I don't want to put him in the middle as I know he has to share any message I send him with my mother. I have two sisters who are much younger than me (20 & 18). I have not spoken to them in a year. I sent xmas presents and text them on their bdays but they haven't reached out once.

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Today I hummed and hawwed about messaging my father to wish him Happy Father's Day. I have been starting to feel in a better place emotionally and mentally and thought I was ready to reach out to my parents. I wanted to start with my Dad because he has never really instigated any toxic behaviours. I know he is just following what my mother wants and trying to "keep the peace".

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I sent the message wishing him Happy Dad Day.

He responded that it was better since he heard from me.

I told him I loved him.

He responded that he loved me too.

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At around 9pm, I received the following message from my 20-year old sister and I'm devastated.

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" I know we haven't talked in months but just wanted to let you know you're not welcome in this house or anywhere near me. The fact that you had the balls to wish dad a happy father's day and have ignored mom for months truly speaks of your character. You're a selfish immature bitch. Mom and Dad are both crying right now because of what you've done to this family. You think you're innocent when all you've done is ruin everyones relationship with you. No one in this family respects you. I will never be able to have a relationship with you ever again because you disgust me and will never be able to act like a mature adult. You're not a teenager anymore yet you act like one! Grow up and don't ever contact us again. You've lost your sisters and your mom so hope it was all worth it!"

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I haven't been able to sleep because I feel utterly alone and broken and as if I've been sucked back into the toxicity and poison that I tried so hard to escape from and that I thought I was slowly putting behind me. I'm not quite sure what to do or how to move forward from this. Any thought I had about getting back in touch with my parents has now been quashed. How can I move forward? How can I compartmentalize and pack away an interaction such as this so that it doesn't impact my daily life e.g sleep, work, existing healthy relationships?

I feel utterly alone.

Submitted June 17, 2019 at 02:04AM by smileynfun http://bit.ly/2XTABL1