My (29F) brother (20M) has been letting his GF (20F) “borrow” my clothes without asking me. Then, he lied about it.

Up until recently, I have been working abroad and have been keeping my things at my parents’ house. My work is pretty intense (I work in humanitarian relief work), and I come home every few months. Each time I’ve been home, I go through and clear out things to give away; as a result, I don’t have that much stuff anymore, and everything I do have, I have because I love.

Recently, I came home after finishing a tough assignment and went through my closet and realized that I couldn’t find my favorite dresses. After cleaning further and confirming that my mom hasn’t seen them, I asked my brother, since he’s the only other person living at home right now.

He denied knowing anything, saying that he only borrowed old clothes from another family member (who isn’t home now and also stores clothes in that closet). After looking further, I realized that I had several things missing: the dresses, but also shirts, a sweater, athletic leggings and shorts. The kicker: I also found several handles of alcohol hidden in my closet, proving that my brother had been through my things.

Furious, I confronted him again, and he said that he’d take care of getting my things back. My brother has been dating a girl for a couple of months now, and apparently she’s been staying over at the house when my mom’s at work. I’ve met her once or twice, but otherwise she’s a stranger. When I pressed the issue again later, apparently she was “borrowing” the things for an event and I’ll receive everything back within the week.

The whole thing is really weird: Who borrows all these things? And why did my brother have to lie and deny that he knew anything?

It’s been upsetting. I’m not home often. I’ve been abroad and missing home and now feel like the small slice that was mine (a few shelves) isn’t mine. I hate that my brother thought it was OK to basically give away my things and then later lie about it. It would be one thing if he asked, but not a word. So one of my favorite dresses (given to me by my favorite cousin) is out there in the world being worn by some clueless twenty-year-old, who either had no idea that I wasn’t OK with this arrangement or, worse, didn’t give a shit.

What do I do here, Reddit? I’m less concerned about my things and more concerned about my brother and the fact that his moral compass is really shitty. He’s too old to be doing this shit, and I don’t quite know how to have a relationship with him when he’s proven to be untrustworthy on a number of occasions now. His lying habit usually arises when he’s trying to cover up a mistake; he also got in a car accident last year and hid it from my parents (also lying to them when they asked the first time, now they’re paying insane car insurance costs). He’s living at home now, but he continues to hide from conflict and his responsibilities. I’m concerned that he’s not becoming a good person.

TL;DR! My brother and his GF went through and took some of my things while I was away. He denied it but eventually admitted it after I confronted him again. He regularly lies to cover up mistakes. How do I deal with him?

Submitted June 18, 2019 at 02:08AM by nguyenlikewhoa http://bit.ly/2ImCxGO