When my boyfriend and I first moved in together after 3 years of a LDR, our job situation was not ideal. We worked in cities far from each other with almost no rental options that would allow us to split the commute. We ended up in a place where he had an 1 hr 15 min commute each way and mine was 25 min each way. Because of this difference I agreed that I would wash all the household dishes (his least favorite chore, we had no dishwasher). During this time, I also agreed that I would drive on our trips together to visit family, vacations, and trips into town a couple times a week.
The plan from the beginning was that he would find a new job in the same city I worked in and we would move. This living and commuting situation was meant to be temporary. However, as time went on it became obvious we'd be there a lot longer. He never looked at jobs and when I'd suggest jobs, he'd ignore them, say he liked his current position more, or even blame me for not helping him apply. He didn't apply for a single job during the 3 years we were there. At that point, I actually got a job in the city he worked in and we were able to move there and now each have 5 min commutes, which is amazing.
The problem I have is now even after things are more settled, I am still stuck driving the car on all our trips. He argues that I have to "pay off" all the time he spent commuting, which adds up to thousands of hours. I feel like I put in my part of the deal from the beginning and while I was always grateful he was willing to commute (I would never have survived it) there is something that feels skeezy to me about being "indebted" to him for years after.
What do you think? Should I suck it up and put in the time or is this as unfair as I feel it is?
TL;DR Boyfriend is changing original terms of our commuting deal as he must feel I got off easy. Am I being taken advantage of?
Submitted June 16, 2019 at 07:51PM by helpadviseme http://bit.ly/31CYpFq
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