I (35/M) can't bring myself to tell my wife (36/F) I didn't get this promotion. I can't deal with it myself either

I recently had a chance to move up a lot in my area and this was a really big deal for me, not just for the extra income. I guess it meant a lot personally. It looked hopeful and my wife knows about it too, but I've found out that my application has been rejected, because simply put, I'm not good enough.

It stings to the point that I can't bring myself to tell her, but at the same time the truth is that I'm really hurt personally. I work in a field where our work is very personal. Without trying to be a d***, it's something creative so sometimes it can be very hard to receive criticism this blunt and personal. This is the first time in 10 years that it's hurt like this.

I think maybe I need time to accept I'm not at the level of some people around me. I'm not sure if I'll ever get there.

We won't starve because of this and it's not really the money. It's just it hurts knowing I wasn't good enough, after getting my hopes up. And I think I can't show my wife this weakness and pain because she'll think badly of me. I'm embarrassed and sad at being inferior to the others.

Don't know what I'm trying to say anymore.

TL;DR: Failed to get a promotion, feel very hurt and can't tell anyone

Edit: I just want to say that I've read every single reply. I felt like if I replied to each one it would look silly and take up too much space. It has sunk in a lot. Must not wallow especially.

Edit again: I went and told her and she was really understanding and helpful. I need to not see things in such an all or nothing way. There will be more opportunities and I can keep trying. And even if I don't make 'it', that's ok too.

Submitted June 16, 2019 at 03:54PM by onetimeonly91 http://bit.ly/2KlPItw