My (25F) mom (46F) is mad at me for asking if my boyfriend (28M) of 3 years can go on vacation with my family.

I have been with my bf for 3 years. I moved across the country a few years ago (literally my family lives in FL I live in CA). Right around this time my family (mom, grandparents, aunts and uncles) all started a tradition of going on a cruise every year right after Christmas. I was never able to go because I have 2 weeks of paid vacation during Christmas and could not take that 2 weeks off of work right after. My mom kept asking me to come with and I repeatedly asked her to schedule the cruise for my time off if she wanted me to come and she said they wouldn't, which is fine, just means I cant go. I also can't really afford to take two weeks with no pay and also pay for a cruise over $1,000 and $600 flight to Florida.

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Finally, last year, I decided to come with. I stayed home in California where I have no family for Christmas and celebrated with my bf and his family, and a few weeks later I went on the family vacation. My mom offered to pay the whole cruise because I told her repeatedly that I could not afford it. It was a ton of fun and I told her I would go again this year. Last time my boyfriend wanted to come with and my mom didn't seem happy about it. We have visited them the year before for Christmas and my mom was mad at me the whole time because she wanted it to just be me and not my boyfriend. I want to stress that I am SO grateful to my mom for paying. I have never asked her to pay for any of this. So we have planned out next year's cruise and I just asked my mom if my bf could come with us. This is a family vacation with a bunch of my extended family. My mom got extremely angry at me, accused me of being mad at her for wanting to spend time with me and said I would spend all of my time with my bf and not her. I told her I want us ALL to spend time together and to be able to share my family vacation with my bf and that he is excited to hang out with me AND MY FAMILY. She is furious with me right now and said she's mad that I even asked her. My boyfriend would be paying 100% for himself, I did not and would not ever ask her to pay for him. She said she "doesn't want to pay for me to go on vacation with my bf."

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This was also a huge issue on the cruise last year, because my aunts and grandma and I all would find evens on the ship to go to and we would invite my mom. Instead of going she would say no, she wanted to go sit somewhere else, and she actually walked away from us all and didn't attend the event. Later we got into a screaming fight because she said she felt like I was ignoring her and spending more time with my aunt than her, even after I asked her to come do this event with us and she said no and went and sat down and did nothing alone!!!

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She will also constantly get upset with me for drinking in front of her (yes even a glass of wine at dinner, and no I do not or have never had a drinking problem and I am 25 years old. ) She will make a huge awkward situation and be quiet and not look at me or talk to me if I have one drink at all.

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I feel terrible because my boyfriend's mom has invited me to go to Hawaii with them where her family is but my boyfriend is not allowed to come on my family vacation "because my mom is paying for it." Basically my mom is saying if she pays, he cant come.

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*tl;dr:My mom has made me feel terrible for asking her if my boyfriend can come on our family vacation, even though he would pay for himself.

Submitted June 18, 2019 at 12:17PM by Jessicash http://bit.ly/2XuHGoJ