My girlfriend and I have been dating for around 3 years. We live together and have a dog together.
Last fall I started law school and maintained a job working as an aide to a state lawmaker while attending. With my work/School commitments, life got pretty brutal. I spent the strong majority of my day driving back and forth from the office and campus, and when I got home I would do my readings for class. I had no free time to do anything I enjoyed, and got at most 6 hours (but that was rare) of sleep each night trying to balance it all.
The result of doing that from August until May was intense burnout, insomnia, panic attacks, and overall poor mental health. I stopped feeling emotions, I stopped eating, and I got really depressed. My girlfriend and I stopped having sex because I was always too exhausted and didn’t want to be touched. Through it all, she was incredibly supportive and stayed positive.
Towards the end of the semester a girl [also 22F] that I hardly knew messaged me on Snapchat. We started to chat and had a ton in common, so we hit it off. It felt good and I enjoyed talking to her after feeling so down for so long. Eventually it got flirty, but nothing sexual. Plans were made to meet up, but I kept bailing on her because I didn’t want to put myself in a position where I would physically cheat on my girlfriend.
I was torn because I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I was falling out of love with my girlfriend or if my mind was just all out of whack because of the chronic stress I was suffering from, but two or three weeks after the semester ended, I began to feel somewhat normal again. At that point, I started to try to distance myself from the other girl, but like an idiot, I would still chat with her every few days. As more time went on, and I felt like I was getting my mind back in order, the thought of not being with my girlfriend anymore made me sadder and sadder. So today, I told the other girl that I didn’t want to pursue anything, and that I have a girlfriend.
I am planning on telling my girlfriend when she gets home this weekend (she’s a flight attendant and is gone a lot). I’m really scared. I don’t want to lose her, but I know I deserve it if I do. How should I approach this?
I know I messed up really badly, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Tl;dr - I was suffering from chronic stress that put me into a deep depression. A girl I hardly knew messaged me and I fell for her. As my schedule became less stressful and I regained my sanity, I realized how big of a mistake I was making. I never met the other girl in person and ended it, confessing that I had a girlfriend. I am planning on telling my girlfriend and am really scared of losing her. I know I deserve it if I do, though.
Submitted June 20, 2019 at 06:09PM by IJustBoughtAFuton http://bit.ly/2IydhgZ
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