i (24F) am starting to realize that I am too good for my boyfriend (25M) but I just can’t break it off.

I don’t mean this in a stuck up way. And not by looks in any means. If anything he may even be slightly more attractive than me.

What I mean is that I’m starting to just notice things that really aren’t.. well.. good. We’ve been dating about 10 months and it’s been obvious since the 2nd month of dating he is a very insecure and jealous guy. He questions every time I talk to a male and thinks I flirt with guys often because I mess with my earrings or my hair (truly a habit, my parents tell me I do it too).

He is just really judgmental. He makes comments on everything everyone does that’s wrong and that’s just not me at all. And he does give off the “better than you” vibe sometimes. He’s a pretty negative guy which isn’t me either. And even though he seems to be the more possessive one, he also can be really inconsiderate to my feelings and the way he does things and says things. Things that I know he’d be so mad at me if I did. (i.e. going out with friends and not texting me back for 3 hours with his location off)(just happened right now)

To clarify, I trust him and know he’s not cheating or doing anything like that but what makes me so angry is if I did that, it would be a huge deal to him. But when he does it, it’s just an “oh sorry I totally have not been checking my phone!”. It’s crazy cuz normally, with the amount that I trust him, I wouldn’t be mad at all. Hell I’ve gone out with friends and just not looked at my phone due to a good time and was definitely not cheating. But it’s the fact that I know he would be mad at me that makes me want to just get so mad and start a fight and just shake him and say “how can you not see this?!”

And I’m not trying to say I’m this perfect person! But I know that I am confident in who I am. I know that I’m at least good looking and I work really hard at taking care of myself (gym, health, sleep, work/ social balance). I am really not and have never been a judgemental person. People are just doing their own things and unless I really really know you I don’t feel I can make assumptions about you. I am generally a positive, find happiness in the little things kinda girl and unfortunately my boyfriend is kinda opposite those things..

After reading this you’re probably like, dude! Break up with him! But on the other side of things.... I have truly never felt like any of my past boyfriends loved me as much as he does. I’ve always been the one to care more. And for the first time I truly feel my boyfriend cares so much about me. He is one of the funniest people I know and we can be weird and make each other laugh. He really listens to me and tries to help me through my problems and i think i do the same to him. I KNOW that he is always there for me and I know I could cry in his arms for an hour just about some stupid problems and he would still listen and be there for me.

And like I said, I’m not perfect. I know I could be less argumentative and sensitive about little things. I know I get upset with him easier and find it hard to forgive quickly. But I do genuinely feel I am a good girlfriend to him and he always tells me how much he admires me as a person and it’s sad to say that I don’t feel I can say the same about him which I feel so mean even typing..

Unfortunately lately it seems like his negatives are starting to outweigh the positives in my eyes and it sucks cuz he’s not a horrible guy. But I’m just kinda feeling like this isn’t this great guy that I want to end up with. I know nobody is perfect but I don’t think that asking for a trusting, confident, nonjudgmental nice guy is a lot to ask for right? (Lol or is that a joke). Idk. Maybe this is just a phase or a bump. I don’t want to start to resent him and stay with him and prolong this if it isn’t meant for me but I can’t seem to break up with him cuz it’s not like his negatives are horrible things and when he’s his best self just hanging and cracking jokes I really just love being with him. But it’s also not “I hate the way he leaves his dishes in the sink or chomps his food!” It’s like his actual personality traits... is this something all couples gotta just get past. It has been less than a year. Any advice?

TLDR;

I’m starting to really dislike the negative traits my boyfriend has. I’m wondering if this is a phase and a bump couples go through or if he isn’t the guy for me.

Submitted June 23, 2019 at 12:07AM by witchyembarrassment http://bit.ly/2WWLB99