TLDR: My mum thinks that it is too dangerous for me, a 17 year old, to cross a road without traffic lights by myself. She is ridiculously controlling of my life and I need advice.
I don't know where to start, I just have so many relationship problems with my mother.
Here's some background information. I am an only child, and no I do not have any disabilities, physically or mentally.
My mother is a control freak, before my parents divorced she managed all the family's finances (even though my dad was the only one that worked) and even now I distinctively remember her being very verbally abusive towards him. In the end my dad cheated on her, and they divorced.
My mum was understandably furious with my dad, I get it. What I don't get is how she took that anger out on me. I was only 7 back then and almost everyday she would tell me how my father is evil, and would probably kidnap and kill me if he had the chance (I'm not exaggerating, she actually told me that). Being a stupid 7 year old kid, I believed her word for word. Eventually, after a year or two of this, my dad got visiting rights and my mum had to let him see me. I was terrified of him at first, because i believed all the lies she told me. Over time I gradually realised that none of the stuff she told me was true, and that my dad, although not the best father in the world, was a good person who did care about me. Until this day I still do not forgive her for doing what she did.
Fast forward to my teenage years. she is so overprotective of me, and I'm really fucking sick of it. She thinks a lot of usual activities are dangerous, such as riding my bicycle in the bicycle lane, drinking any soft drinks cause it is bad for my health, swimming at the beach even where there's life guards on patrol, playing video games at home because I would get addicted. obviously she won't let me get my driver's license when I could have at the age of 16. One time she got super pissed at me and lectured me for an hour because she went into my room and saw that I was listening to a song called "sex and drugs".
So anyway here's the actual story from the title. Lately I've been feeling pretty depressed due to reasons outside of this, I'm lacking energy and the motive to do anything. In an attempt to readjust my lifestyle I wanted to start going to the gym and exercising to relief my stress. There's this gym that is a 10 minute walk from my house and the prices are affordable. I asked my mum about it and said that I would pay for it out of my own pocket with the money I saved up from my previous part time job, which she forced me to quit. She agreed to sign the paperwork (gym needs it as I'm still under 18), and today after school she picked me up, along with a friend who I was planning on going to the gym with, and drove us to the gym.
On the way there she saw that the gym was further away than she initially thought, even though Ive already told her it was a 10 minute walk away and that's what it was. She dramatically stopped the car on the side of the road and announced that it was too dangerous for me, who is 4 months away from becoming a legal adult, to cross the road in front of the gym, a side street that didn't have pedestrian Crossing. Because of this she refused to sign the paperwork for me which was the only way for me to be allowed into the gym.
She announced this while my friend was in the car. I did not want to argue with her with him there cause things could get ugly, so I held in the anger and stayed quiet. I was so embarrassed, for obvious reasons. I can't honestly believe that she would think that I, almost a grown man, couldn't cross a fucking road? Even worse is how my friend will think of me from now on. after we went home I told her these exact words -
Me: I don't want to talk to you. Mum: why? Me: I think you are mentally ill.
Then I went into my room, and she yelled out across the house that I was unappreciative and childish, as if I was in the wrong the entire time. Instead of getting into an argument I've decided to come to Reddit for advice. My mum has done a lot of good things for me, and I love her. But right now I am absolutely fucking pissed. As you probably have guess she is the most stubborn person in the world and I definitely can't persuade her about anything. The problem isn't that I cant go to the gym, I can find other ways to exercise, it's that she still treats me in the same controlling way she did 10 years ago.
Is there anyway for me to repair this relationship? Or do I just have to suck it up until I leave home (she doesn't want me to, so I have to do it against her will and become entirely financially independent while studying in university).
I really envy those with healthy relationships with their parents.
Edit: grammar
Submitted February 28, 2019 at 11:02PM by uhysa7393 https://ift.tt/2tJhi9T
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