My [24F] best friend [27F] replaced me as godmother to her baby with no explanation. How do I talk to her about it?

I’m not really sure how to start this post so I’ll just give some backstory first:

One of my best friends lives in a different country. We met years ago online and have talked almost daily to what is approaching a decade. We have both flown back and forth once or twice a year to see the other and hang out, and we’ve always been their for each other’s big moments.

She found out last year that she is expecting her first child, and it was amazing news for us all, I was so happy for her to start the family I know she’s always wanted with her husband [31M]. She came to visit a few months into her pregnancy and asked me to be the baby’s godmother - I was over the moon. While we live an 8 hour plane ride from each other, I do have a job that gives me decent vacation allowance and deals with certain airlines that makes visiting manageable. I knew that I could be there for her, and told her that whenever she was ready for someone outside of the family to be there, I would make the trip.

Last month, she had her baby shower, and I only found out when I saw on Instagram a mutual friend [28F] who lives in the same city as me, had surprised her at the shower. I hadn’t been invited. I was a little hurt, and surprised, but it was the busiest month of the year for the company I work for, and I knew she knew that, so I figured that could be the reason, sent my gift by airmail and said congratulations.

However now she’s reached out to me, and told me that she has asked another friend (the same person who went to the baby shower) to be the baby’s godmother, and that she only wants her child to have one. I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. I was heartbroken, and felt a bit betrayed, for 6 months I have been excited to take on the role - my own godmother lives in New Zealand, and has done for most of my life, so I knew it could work.m, knew how to stay in contact and be a part of the child’s life while living in another country. But now she’s taken back her offer, and chosen someone else.

I wouldn’t be so upset if she had chosen someone who lived closer, but she has replaced me with someone who lives in the same city as me, so it’s not a distance thing. We have been friends for years, I have been there with updates, support and love her whole pregnancy, and at no point was there any clue she had changed her mind... until the baby shower a few weeks ago.

I don’t know if I should confront her, tell her I’m hurt, or just accept her decision, it’s her baby, and I would never want to force her into a decision she wasn’t happy with. I just don’t know what to do or say to her now. I want to let her know I’m sad that I’m missing out, but I don’t want to sound like I’m whining, and I want to know why she changed her mind, but I’m scared the answer will just upset me. What should I do?

TL:DR: My best friend asked me to be the godmother of her child months ago, now, with the due date approaching, she’s chosen someone else and given no explanation. How do I tell her that hurts without sounding selfish?

Submitted March 01, 2019 at 04:21AM by aightillbite https://ift.tt/2H9SDTO