I(27f) don't know how to move forward with my marriage proposal since my mother(55f) is always playing victim.

This happened last night and I have posted on reddit but unable to paste link here-- My eyes are still hazy so forgive for any typos. Ours is a four member asian family me(f) mom dad dog. My parents are not social they generally tend to remain in a shell while i on the other hands have a group of frns which are always there for me. My mother has thru the years formed a misunderstanding that i prefer my frns over her(them). She is always playing victim and no matter what the discussion is going whether it's going somewhere eating anyplace she tends to make everything about her. Fast forward now. There was a party where i had plans to go to and she asked why am i staying over when the place is nearby. I said then i would come, but late. She said I said it in a tone that was condescending and hurtful i (in a calm voice) said i wasn't being hurtful i just said that then i would be late. I then cancelled the plans and said I won't go(calmly) I said it's your overthinking that is make you think that. (calm voice)She then full ballistic and then said i don't respect her, i prefer my bf(recently told them that i wanna get married to him) and group of frns and that they don't give an ef (highlighting that they don't approve) that but for now i am there responsibility. I cancelled my plans and started sobbing

Now-

I am from an asian family so marriage proposals involve meeting of the families. I don't know how after all this, i can start talking about moving my marriage to my boyfriend forward. I am not talking to her and they believe that I don't ask them things i tell them. And i know the moment i ask them about this marriage they're gonna throw that in my face. I don't know how to deal with my mother's outbursts either. My father(who is at fault of not paying attention at home)says she's old now and her nature cannot change. But the primary question remains how to move this marriage thing faster.

Tldr; my mother is always playing victim and in the end the sympathy vote goes to her. I don't know between all this how should i pitch in the idea of my marriage to them since they throw the fact that 'I don't ask them, i tell them' in my face Everytime.

Submitted March 02, 2019 at 09:32PM by swat_mobile https://ift.tt/2GV8lmt