Previous post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/a530uu/i_31f_wish_my_so_34m_cared_about_life_as_much_as/
TLDR: Things are getting better, slowly but surely.
After posting here, I took some of the comments about depression and talked to my SO about how he feels and what I can do to be a better support system for him. He's still continuing therapy and his medication is slightly helping (although it'll take a few more weeks to really kick in) but he registered for his prereq classes without me saying anything or reminding him and he has been trying to help with cleaning when he can. So there has been some overall improvement.
We also talked about Pokemon Go, how he's using it as a coping mechanism and how that's okay (I cannot stress enough how I want him to still feel okay playing), but also how we can't just drop everything all the time for it. We just got back from a small holiday trip and the entire time, he kept the Pokemon Go under control and played when we wanted but not when we were doing dinner, taking parents places, and such. He showed a lot of restraint and a lot of respect for the stuff we talked about.
I have also done a few raids with him and his people from discord, and I'm really glad he has this group of random Pokemon people that he knows by their Pokemon nicknames and stuff. It's actually very sweet, and not forced socialization or awkward adult-friend-making...they just go do raids, trade pokemon and know each other from these small moments. It's good for him, especially as his social circle has shrunk over the past few years. It's all so low key and low pressure that I really do think it's healthy for him to do these raids and talk to people about his hobby.
I'm also trying to be receptive that his way of "giving" to me right now is by helping me with the game. He really likes to play PoGo with me and gets excited when I get a shiny or catch a legendary in a raid. I have to realize that while the depression stops him from acting like he cares about stuff like cleaning or eating, this is a small glimpse into what he can be like once he gets better again (and also, a glimpse of his old self).
I wanted to thank everyone who shared their stories of depression and opened my eyes to the fact that there is so much more to being depressed than just being unmotivated/sad/empty. I had no idea that his motivation in the game was part of the depression and part of coping with life. Thanks for all the stories, seriously, they meant so much.
Submitted December 28, 2018 at 02:03PM by HugeLeopard http://bit.ly/2R0nXe8
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