My[23f] husband [29m] is hard core flirting with (maybe even talking to) a girl[late20sf] who works at a gas station he goes to daily.

So I've been with my husband for almost 6 years. We have had our problems but always worked them out and I always thought we were pretty solid.

Guys used to message me a lot on Facebook and he'd get jealous and it resulted in both of us deactivating Facebook. I got into reddit a few months ago (just now made a real account instead of anon) so he got jealous and decided he was gonna reactivate his Facebook but made it very clear he didn't want me to reactivate mine. Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in doing so. I don't want Facebook anymore I honestly don't, but I feel like I could have it even if I wanted it.

Well, my husband has always been really open with his phone. I don't have service on mine because I'm always home so I use Wi-Fi. So he's always gave me his phone in a heart beat. Now he won't. He has to do something on it before he hands it to me (HELLO) and he just flat refuses. Turn on his hotspot if we're out or says "you got a phone" if we are home. I lost my phone today and asked to use his to call the last place I was to see if it was there and he said "go use that old phone in the drawer" which I would have to charge, hook to my wifi, download the app, log into my gmail to log into the app, just to make one phone call. Not to mention I tried and my app I use wasn't even supported because the phone is a tracfone from 2010.

And I should mention he had a drunken flip out the other night and went on a rant of how miserable he was, how much he hated me, how he didn't want to be with me, was sick of me, I'm a terrible wife and mother, and all this crap and I feel like he really ment it but didn't have the guts to say it sober. He packed up his stuff and left (yes fucking drunk, I tried everything I could to stop him but you can crank his truck without the key) and came back at 3am still drunk and still showing his ass. And it all started because I told him he went to the store with me and then went with his brother and he claimed I never went with him (I was sober, I don't drink period or do drugs except occasionally smoke weed). Yeah I know, pointless. I tried not fighting with him but he wouldn't even let me ignore him. Ive seen him get mad and flip out before, and he's called me stupid names before but not like that. I couldnt believe he was acting that way over nothing.

But anyway. With my phone missing I was really bored and decided to pick up his phone and open Facebook and scroll through a few times. I wasn't snooping. I don't do that normally. Well, he came in and saw me and immediately was like "what are you doing?!?! Why are you snooping through my phone?!?!" And I honestly wasn't. I know his email, he uses the same password for everything if I wanted to snoop I could have at any time.

So back to the girl at the store. Shes exactly his type. More so than I am. I'm a dorky girl who's into nerd stuff and heavy metal and old funk music and weird movies. But we are from the south so he's like a "country boy" listens to country music (and I hate country music, he doesn't really like my kind of music either). He's always been into preppy type girlie "country" girls and he constantly reminds me I could be more girly. Like he wants me to dye my hair blond (he's asked me for years but it's always been dark red and I like I like this I don't want blond). He says I could dress more feminine and stuff but I like my style. I'm not tomboy ish (nothing wrong with being a tomboy, I just don't think I am) but I'm not super girly either. I try to dress up sometimes like he likes but it always makes me feel bad because its like he likes it TOO much (if that makes sense?) Like he ONLY likes me like that, and not how I normally dress. When we go out he says stuff like "now try to dress decent" or "That's not what you're wearing is it?"... but she dresses and acts just like how I think he wants me to. She's got that peppy bubbly type personality he likes, and I don't. I don't even know how we ended up clicking but we did. And boy those first years were amazing. I see how he looks at this girl and how he communicates with her and it's how he did me when we first started dating. I know he likes her. I've brought it up a few times and he tries to tell me I'm crazy.

Well tonight I did exactly what I didn't want to do. I snooped. And I noticed he's added her on Facebook and has commented on a few of her posts and liked EVERY SINGLE ONE of her recent posts. I mean even religious stuff and he's not even religious. Stuff about stuff if anyone one other than her posted he would have any interest in. And "loved" her selfies. My heart is just sunken right now. So that just basically confirmed to me he likes her. And I haven't said anything because I know it's just gonna make him flip out about me getting on his Facebook and he will try to say "its not like that" like he did two other times when I caught him telling one girl "I still think about you from time to time" and told another "you just want me to come over alone" when the girl said "you and inglouriousbasterd_ need to come see me"

I'm kinda crushed right now. I don't feel, good enough. I know saying something won't get me no where but more heartbreak. I guess I just needed to vent. I have no friends irl. Not a one. He's all I have and I obviously can't talk to him. Only family I have is my mother and I can't talk to her about it because she always take his side. Even with that big fight we had the other night she took his side and said that I need to stop bitching at him all the time and let up because "he works all the time and takes care of me". I hate that mentality. He has it too. He think just because he goes to work and pays the bills he owes me nothing else. He says I do nothing, but anytime I've had a job he convinced me to quit because day care was always more than I made and it basically costed us for me to have a job. But even without a job I do a lot more than he wants to credit me for.

He also constantly accuses me of cheating. I know "red flag" but until now I didn't see go it was possible for him to cheat. He gets picked up and dropped off for work. And when he's off work he's home with me. Still, I don't see how he can physically cheat but if there is a will there is a way I guess. But I honestly don't think he's physically cheating but I know he is at least flirting with her and it hurts me still. Because It makes me feel inadequate to her. Like he's better than me. I already feel that she's way prettier than me and I know she's the type of girl he likes (and I feel like he wants me to be)

So here is my pointless post. Please don't ridicule me too much. I'm really sensitive right now. I'm hurt and sad and I feel stuck and alone. I don't know what to do. I know 10 people is about to tell me to just leave him but it's not that easy. I don't have family to help me and I don't wanna leave him. I wanna try to work through this and I know I can't until I talk to him about it but I'm just trying to figure out how. I know I want some stuff to change and if it doesn't I know I'm gonna have to leave. But I don't wanna give up yet.

TL;DR I feel like my husband is flirting with possiblly talking to a girl who is more "His type" than I am. He's been acting differently, and I obviously know something is up. I don't know how to go about it because I found out some stuff by "snooping" (and tbh I feel bad for snooping because I don't ever do it)

Submitted December 27, 2018 at 09:38PM by inglouriousbasterd_ http://bit.ly/2GT1yuC