We got married because of pregnancy, after some months of dating.
Today we were just sitting and he said “I love you more than anyone else”, I said “Awwww”, then he added, “There’s no one else that loves you more than I do”. And that’s when I realized it was a jab at me. I asked “What do u mean”, he further explained that I have no one else but him...
I just shrugged it off in the moment, because the baby needed me or something.
It really hurts me, because what he said was true. I don’t have any real family or friends. My family broke off about 10 years ago. I’ve basically lived on my own since teen, I’m not good at keeping connected with people. I have a lot of personal anxiety and I really want to change.
He knows all of my weaknesses and it feels like abuse to me. I met him when I was most vulnerable when my mom died, all we did was have sex, I got pregnant, I didn’t have friends or family, feel like I’ve lost most of my friends being with him, I’m isolated living in his parents house, raising my baby. In our relationship we always said I love you and try to work things out.
But our relationship has always been bumpy, it’s a cycle of arguments/being okay, right now he’s very stressed out about not finding a proper job and has his own priorities.
He has always said things like, I don’t understand him, I don’t know him at all.. So, he turns to destructive behaviours like smoking and god knows what. I’ve always try to emphasize and let him, but deep down I feel nothing’s changing. I’m getting to a point where I can’t forgive his hurtful actions and lies anymore.
I will admit I am a lonely person. I may be overthinking but feels like he purposely hurts me to show he’s in power. We have a baby now so it’s hard for me.
How do I break this hurtful cycle, better our relationship, and see change in both of us?
TLDR; Husband knows I have no one else but him in my life, co-dependant. Am I in an abusive relationship, how to change this?
Submitted December 26, 2018 at 10:48PM by centreisland http://bit.ly/2GS3uDg
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