My fiancé’s good friend is bringing one of my fiancé’s exes as his plus one to our wedding(ish) and I’m uncomfortable [all late 20s M and F]

So it’s not really a wedding to be clear, we eloped just the two of us already and we are having a celebratory dinner/party at my fiancé’s parents house and inviting his friends and family as an informal reception. This is a week and a half from now. It’s worth noting my friends and family won’t be there as they live in a different country and we are planning on celebrating with them over Christmas.

The ex in question is someone my fiancé, who is 29, dated when he was 18-19 and then again from ages 24-25. We will call her Michelle. They broke up but remained fwb up until he and I started dating 3.5 years ago. I remember she would still text him from time to time when we were just starting out dating/still casual and there was a little bit of overlap of them still sleeping together / me and him going on dates (which I was fine with when I learned about it as I’d been seeing some other guys too the first couple of weeks). however to my knowledge they haven’t spoken in the little more than 3 years since we made it official/exclusive, except for her texting him happy birthday about a month after we became exclusive. He didn’t answer right away (not intentionally just forgot since he got a lot of texts) and she texted him the next day being like “oh so now that you have a gf you’re too behaved to text me back i see...u know where I am if you change your mind <insert that angel emoji with the halo>” which made me really uncomfortable. But they didn’t hang out or text beyond that so I just let it go obviously.

Anyway fast forward 3 years and we are newlyweds ready to celebrate! Since it’s an informal reception of close friends and family and not costing us a lot of money, we told our guests that they are totally welcome to bring a date if they have a special someone.

Well one of my fiancé’s othr friends just texted him “did you know Derek’s bringing Michelle to your thing? I guess they’ve been hanging out”

I’m bothered because it’s going to be a relatively small group (less than 30 people) and i just feel like i will be self conscious and unable to enjoy myself and feel happy if my fiancé’s ex from high school / someone who he was semi involved with early in our relationship / who then texted him that weird thing is there. Fiancé said he doesn’t care either way, thinks it’s a little weird but doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it, but will do whatever I’m more comfortable with.

I’m just not sure how to stop this from happening without making it dramatic. I just foresee myself feeling anxious and self conscious and not being able to enjoy myself, on top of that I feel disrespected by Michelle’s message from 3+ years ago which I know was a while ago but still. Is there a way to ask the friend not to bring her without making it a big deal? He never told my fiancé himself, we only know about it from another friend.

Tl;dr: fiancé dated a woman years ago, his friend is bringing her as his date to a dinner we are hosting. she made a pass at him (in my opinion) after we got together, that was over 3 years ago but I still don’t want her at the relatively intimate celebration of our wedding.

Submitted December 01, 2018 at 10:28AM by Fiancesfriend https://ift.tt/2BK6RrB