My fiancé (let’s call him Adam) and I have been together for 6 years, engaged for 2 years. To complicate things, our wedding is in 2 weeks.
My husband played baseball in college. It was his dream to be a professional baseball player. He was able to play in the minors for a short period of time but was eventually cut. After this, he went to a foreign country to play for a few years. About a year and a half ago, he “retired,” moved back to the states, and got an office job.
In the meantime, I went to law school, graduated, passed the bar, and got a relatively high paying job. I like what I do and, while I don’t know if I want to do this forever, I have no plans of changing jobs anytime soon.
Yesterday, Adam told me that he was thinking about going to a different foreign country (with lower standards) to revive his baseball career. He wants me to come with him.
I did not react well, I’ll admit that. I laughed and asked if he was joking and, when it became clear that he wasn’t, got super pissed. I spent a lot of time and money building my career. I’m honestly insulted that he wants me to give it up.
He says that I could always take a few years off and come back to it when he finishes playing baseball. I argue that I won’t be a particularly desirable candidate to a law firm after taking years off of work. He says I could try to work as a consultant at a foreign firm or at an American firm’s office in that particular country. This would involve changing the area of law that I practice. I practice the type of law that I do because I like it and am good at it. I don’t know if I could be happy practicing in a different area or if I could even get a job with no experience.
He thinks I’m being unsupportive and has threatened to go regardless of whether I agree to come with. I think he’s being delusional. I know this is harsh and I would never say it like this to him but he tried this and failed twice. Why would he put himself through that again? If he doesn’t like his current job and wants to do something else, that’s fine. I will support a career change. But I will absolutely not give up my job to chase a dream that will likely never pan out. I know it’s his dream but most people don’t actually get to do their dream job. I feel like he needs to grow up.
I’m sorry if this comes off as insensitive. I am just so frustrated. I’m looking for any advice about how to tackle this problem. Do I let him go on his own? Do I put my foot down?
TL;DR: fiancé wants me to give up my job so that he can chase his dream career that he has already tried and failed at twice
Submitted December 28, 2018 at 07:00PM by Helprelationships468 http://bit.ly/2s8wCfH
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