My husband and I have been together 7 years (2 married, 6 living together with 1 semi long distance). He lost his dream job of 2 years in January of 2017 and has not worked since. I have been fortunate enough to find work to cover our entire expenses, though the job I was working that afforded us relative luxury was incredibly high stress and left me contemplating suicide.
After a year and a half, I managed to find a much comfier working situation though it cost us roughly 6$/hr. We are still able to afford all bills though now our usual spending cash has been reduced to roughly 1/6th of what it was (imagine 1k a month to ~100-150)
At this point I feel like a mother though we are both adamantly child free. I have to make schedules of what he'll clean (which he throws away and then pretends means those chores don't exist), I have to double check all bills due to him missing important ones and costing us expensive late fees. Right now, we're sharing an ancient car that while functional is unlikely to last through next winter.
Every time I bring up finances, my husband brushes it off. He acts as though his 'depression' at not working is somehow more relevant than the ever-pressing anxiety I feel towards our treading water finances.
I know the obvious answer (divorce) but due to circumstances (he is far from family support, would be without a car, has no job or finances) I would feel incredibly guilty for kicking him to the streets.
Am I justified in feeling the way I am? Due to my upbringing it's been very hard for me to not grin and bear it since I promised I'd love him for richer or poorer, but the sane part of my brain screams I should be pursuing happiness and not motherhood to a full fledged adult.
tl;dr, husband hasn't worked (even part time or contract) in 2 years. Finances are strained, car needs replacing, husband is obstinate towards discussion while not performing household duties. Feedback appreciated.
Submitted December 02, 2018 at 11:22AM by IteMaledicti https://ift.tt/2FSJ3Wz
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