On Saturday, my wife went to a tailgate with some friends, while I stayed home sick. Later that night, she messaged me asking if it was okay to kiss someone else, to which I responded no. When she got home, she explained that she was flirting with someone else, and that it got more serious as the night went on. She did not kiss him though. From that night onward, we tried to discuss it, and her feelings developed from guilt over being unfaithful to questioning marrying so young. On Wednesday, she left to spend a couple days with a friend to sort out her feelings, because talking to me did not appear to be helping.
On Thursday, after a rough night alone surrounded by our shared belongings, I told her I needed to meet with her. When we met, she wasn't wearing her ring. She said that she had been lying to herself because she knew I'd give her the life she wanted, so she changed herself to be the perfect wife for me. She said that she made the decision to divorce when she went shopping with her friend and did not know what she would like to wear, only what the both of us would. And she was excited to figure herself out. I asked if we could do therapy and marriage counseling so I could help her find her self, and she said she thought the only way forward was to separate. I asked if that meant divorce and she said yes. I left to my parents and cried my heart out for a few hours.
It feels like the entire relationship I had with her was fake, because she was never herself for me. I'm hurt because while we both have to figure ourselves out as individuals again, she gets to be excited while I am only scared. I reached out to a lot of my friends and they have all been very kind, and the more I told the story the less I cried, but now I feel just empty. I have the apartment until she moves out, and I don't think I can stay for much longer. She will do her best to find somewhere soon per our conversation. What can I do to help cope while I separate my life from hers? I have already blocked her on all social media except facebook (felt too public) and we have stopped sharing our locations with each other. And how can I ensure my life doesn't fall apart in less than a week again? I was very happy in our relationship, and it seemed like she was too. I didn't see any warning signs leading up to this.
Tonight I am staying at my parents and I asked her to pick up what clothes and items she needs short term, as well as to sort through our shared sentimental belongings, and to take what she needs so I can box up and put away or trash the rest.
Tl;dr wife left me and I'm drowning in my feelings.
Edit:formatting
Submitted November 02, 2018 at 06:15AM by Cosmic_Cynicism https://ift.tt/2zna8KX
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