My [24F] brother's [22M] girlfriend [20F] is throwing up all kinds of red flags, am I being overprotective?

I'll cut to the chase, me and my brother are incredibly close and I was dead excited when he finally got a girlfriend, me and my partner were looking forward to hanging out with them as were our family. The last year has been difficult though

-Camilla (not her real name) hasn't worked for a year, leaving my brother to support her financially

-my partner took our family out to a very fancy restaurant, all expenses paid. The whole night she refused to eat anything, and sat stony faced in the corner trying to draw my brother into conversations just the two of them.

-we go to the pub with all our friends, she does the same as in the restaurant

-my brother is constantly managing her emotional state in public, lots of frantic whispered conversations as she sulks

-she picks all of his clothes, changing the way he looks completely

-she has nothing positive to say about any other women, regually talks about how gross a fat person looks if they walk down the street. Once I commented how pretty a woman looked as she was all dressed up with banging makeup and she said 'I think she looks disgusting' (not even an overweight woman).

-I went to help them move in as a surprise (3 hour drive) and she threw a tantrum because I didn't 'ask permission' despite other family being involved. Eventually I brought her a bottle of spirit as an apology and she was instantly fine

-she hates my partners children and glares and snaps at them at gatherings

The worst thing for me has been going from having a brother who has been an active member of the family to barely seeing him. She has too much anxiety to stay at our house so my brother always stays at hers, which is only 15 minutes away. This means he doesn't make family dinners any more really. He looks tired and has lost a tonne of weight. I worry that being overprotective and missing the relationship I used to have with my brother, but I also think that if my brother was female everyone would be freaking out about domestic abuse?

tl;dr: brothers girlfriend is difficult and I'm concerned that my brother is in a dangerous relationship. Am I right to feel that way and what can I do?

Submitted November 02, 2018 at 03:08AM by Tiredmedic556 https://ift.tt/2JzfvLz