Quick backstory, I am a real estate agent & small business owner in a large city. I find myself working 14 hours a day on most days. When I go into my office (center of the city) often takes about an hour each way through peak traffic. When I am done working, it's often to the point where I am barely staying awake and want to either go home or on days I can leave the office earlier, I like to go home and complete my project(s). A lot of my friends admire my work ethic, however, my "girlfriend" doesn't. I say girlfriend in quotes because although we are not technically in an official dating relationship, we pretty much are but are waiting until we can settle certain things to make it right for the both of us. I care about her a lot & do want to be in a relationship with her, but she says I am only using her and wasting her time because some days I don't feel like making the drive all the way to her house after an extremely long and exhausting day, and she tells me I put my work over her. My priorities in life are myself, family, friends, my intimate relationships, and work, all on an even playing field. She has pretty much given me an ultimatum in that I either can choose to work as much as I do and lose her, or practically quit my life as an entrepreneur and pursue something less ambitious so I can spend more quality time with her. As much as I want to give her that quality time, I also value working my ass off while I am young with hopes of possibly retiring earlier than most people so I will have the money, and all the time in the world with her and a future family I have. She told me she would rather live a life of poverty with a man who puts her over work. Given my background, I don't ever want to go back to poverty & do everything I do today with the hopes of being able to take care of my family and give my future kids the childhood I wasn't able to have. With my current business and real estate business, I have a lot of expenses, and unless I want to let all of my dreams go to make her happy, I need to keep working as hard as I can to keep up with that. I am fine with it and don't think I am overworking myself as I love what I do on a daily basis and have a lot of fun. I don't need much to be happy. I love facetiming her at night & texting her throughout the day, and a couple of times a week we do hang out, but she wants me to see her every single day possible, and just with my schedule, I am sacrificing a lot to make that happen. I obviously know I will probably sound like an asshole, but if I can text her & facetime her and see her once a week, I will be happy. She makes this argument with me almost every other day and it's getting to the point where she is ready to give up unless I "change". I come here to ask the public if I or her (or both or neither) are being unreasonable to one another. And what could I or her do to fix this? We both want a relationship, but I want more time to work and she doesn't want me to work. I just don't know what to do anymore because she is telling me to either change, or she's gone.
UPDATE: She has sent me a bunch of articles saying people who value work over their significant other tend to abandon relationships and children, cheat, etc. I don't think I value work over her like I said earlier she is as high of a priority in my life as work is, it's just hard figuring out how to balance it. Also, in the time it took me to write the entire post, I told her to "hold on" while I wrote it and was away from my phone, and she told me to tell her what I was doing right away or we were done.
Update 2: She has pretty much said something along the lines that she has already made up her mind, that her standards were already changed significantly and that they are now too low and she doesn't want them to be lower for me.
**TL;DR;** : My girlfriend doesn't like how much I work, thinks I value work over her, I think I value her just as much as work, I just don't always constantly feel like hanging out like she wants me to, and threatens to leave me if I don't stop working as much as I do.
Submitted April 07, 2022 at 05:32PM by R3alStuff https://ift.tt/0dlAh3C
No comments:
Post a Comment