Apologies in advance for what is bound to be a long rambling post...
TLDR- my brother is cheating/has cheated on his wife. I work with him and (at least) one of his long term affair partners. I’m devastated and having trouble deciding what to do.
My brother, Eric (M38) has been with his wife Sarah (F39) since I was a kid. I consider her my sister as much as my sisters by blood are, and love her with my whole heart. Her and Eric have two young children.
I work for Eric. Recently, I went out for drinks with a friend/coworker who confessed to me that she and Eric had a two year long affair. This occurred during a time I was not working with them at the business (worked there for a few years, then left for a few, and now I’m back thanks to covid) but I had often suspected it was happening/could happen/etc based on their interactions.
I thanked my coworker for telling me the truth and she apologized for hurting me. Fortunately/unfortunately she also told me a whole bunch of details that have me sick to my stomach, including that Eric, who recently opened a new business, had said he was opening it so they could finally be together, that Sarah was a cold shrew who never wanted to have sex (and all the typical shitty things cheating husbands seem to have to say about their wives), and that the affair was happening while Sarah was pregnant and that’s when my coworker (not Eric) called it off. I now also have confirmation of other hook-ups my piece of shit brother has had (although not that any others were similarly long term, but I have suspicions about a few of those as well).
A few other complicating factors that may play into all of this: My dad cheated on my mom, and while they stayed together, it absolutely wrecked our family for a while. I’m six years younger than Eric and was too young to really understand what was happening, but I’m sure he has a completely different experience from the situation. I mostly bring this up because all of us saw how this affected (and still affects) my mom and honestly shapes a lot of the ways we all interact and act in our own relationships. It infuriates me that he knew the outcomes and still makes these choices. My parents are literally putting off their retirements to pay to do renovations on an old family house and make it perfect for Sarah, Eric, and their kids. This house is just a few blocks away from my parents’ and they’re so excited to get the chance to be super close to their grandkids and the reno is basically all the family talks about.
I feel like absolute shit. Obviously I need to tell Sarah what I know- she deserves the chance to decide what kind of life she wants to lead and I’ll fully support whatever decisions she makes about their relationship moving forward and be there for her as best I can. I also feel that I need to talk to/confront Eric and give him the chance to come clean to Sarah, although I don’t know that I trust him at all to do so. I’d like to encourage that he go to therapy and work out his issues, remind him of the sacrifices our parents are making for him, how he’s risking his family and having his kids grow up thinking of him and having the same damaged relationship I have with my dad, and even knock him on the head sleeping with his employees- it’s not the 50s anymore that’s how you lose a business!!
I think I have to find a new job. I can’t even look at my brother right now, and while I am trying to stay professional and friendly I don’t think I can be around his AP anymore either. I’m super sad to lose this friendship, and while I honestly think my brother is more to blame she also knew what she was doing and made that choice for two years... anyway I worked one shift with them this week and it was torture, I’m not sure how much more I could stand to be there, and am also not sure how safe my job is if the shit were to really hit the fan 🤷♀️
Do I tell my parents and the rest of my siblings? Do I keep it all to myself? We’re supposed to all spend a week together at the beach, am I going to ruin it for everyone?
At this point, my head is spinning and I just don’t don’t know what to do. I’d love to hear some advice or even just stories of anyone else has gone through something similar. If it’s this hard for me how hard will it be for everyone else involved once they find out??
Submitted June 01, 2021 at 07:54PM by ireallyhatethis_ https://ift.tt/3g71pBS
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