3 I (34M) think I'm realizing I'm the "safe" or "nice guy" in my friends group, and I don't think I like it. What can I do?

I went away for the weekend with a fairly big group of friends that I see a few times a year and throughout the two nights that we stayed together, I hit a realization that I don't care for.

It became clear over the course of this past weekend that I'm the "safe" or "nice guy" within the group. As if I'm too innocent or too polite for some things.

A lot of different stuff gave me the impression. One was that there was a pipe being passed around and that apparently more than one person didn't think I'd want any. I'm no stoner, but I'm not above some every once in a while. Also there were times in which risque conversations were had, but people would suddenly start speaking in hushed tones if I approached. We were also at a lake house and the weather was really nice, and apparently there were plans to go skinny dipping and I only heard about it after the fact.

It really blows my mind as to why people would have assumed this about me. I got kind of annoyed about it and by the second night I really tied one on and had more than I should have to drink, just as some sign of rebellion to show them that I wasn't the sweet and innocent person they thought I was. I held it pretty well and didn't pass out, barf, or make a scene or anything, but I still got the impression that people thought I shouldn't have been venturing out of the definitional box that they'd seemingly put me in.

This really bothers me. I don't like this idea that some people are allowed to do some things and I'm evidently being given some definition or classification that I never consented to. It's really annoying. I see some of the guys or girls getting hit on or offered various things and none of that ever comes my way because I'm just seen as too kind, too nice, and too innocent for any of that.

Anyone have any advice on how I can get out of this situation? I really hate being seen as only this "nice guy" and that some things aren't allowed to me. What can I do about it?

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tl;dr: My friends group seemingly things that I'm too sweet and innocent for anything outside of the definitional box they've put me in, one I never consented to, and one I don't even really know how I got into. I hate this idea that there's some things evidently off limits to me because of this, and it really annoys and stresses me. What can I do about all this?

Submitted June 01, 2021 at 05:00AM by ThrowRATrooper https://ift.tt/3fE9ejy