Title is supposed to read "do I end things?" Sry
M31 F31, relationship is just over 2 years.
Background: We had a rocky start to our relationship to say the least. My boyfriend has a really confrontational attitude and is extremely stubborn. I can see that he has softened over time but living with him isn't exactly easy as he can be a bit unpredictable with his reactions. I feel like "the adult" in the relationship a lot and have to take the lead on planning anything otherwise he'd be content staring at his PC 24/7.
The fight: Valentine's Day arrives, I wake up to a nice box of chocolates, a candle, and a card (all from the drugstore next door = minimal effort but still nice). I had planned secretly a night away at a hotel with a jacuzzi near a local attraction (outdoor so covid friendly).
He finally gets off work and he asks me what we're doing for dinner, I let on that I have a surprise planned. That's when he tenses up, he starts asking me a million questions angrily and forces me to tell him what it is as he's getting more and more upset. When I tell him I'd booked a hotel room with a jacuzzi for us he is furious, he says he's upset he has to leave the apartment, he's upset because he has to work at 8:30am the next day (I work at 8am), he's upset he has to get dressed to go somewhere...
I'm really taken aback. I leave the room. He locks himself in the bathroom; angrily he shaves and gets ready. When he comes out, he shouts that we are NOT staying the night... It's too late to cancel so I'm stuck. I hope he'll calm down on the drive over but nope - silent treatment. We get to the hotel room and he lunges into the bed and lies down with his arms crossed...
I'd forgotten the sexy lingerie outfit I'd planned in all the unexpected emotional outbursts and honestly, I did not want to be in the room with him. So I drove home, order is take out, pick up the outfit, come back a couple hours later... Things haven't changed he's still angry...
We get in the tub anyway, I don't know WHY I bothered at this point, and we just sit there IN SILENCE in this nice bubbly tub and just a cloud of tension between us. I crack the bubbly wine I'd bought for the occassion, he has some too. Nothing really changes... Awkward tension and silence broken only by a few uncomfortable comments.
Finally, I get out and so does he, he get cleaned up and starts tucking himself in bed. I'm like "we're not staying the night, you said, what are you doing?" He looks at me as if I'm the weird one and he's like "it's up to you!" Kind of throwing his hands up. I just can't anymore with his attitude at this point...
With a bit of wine courage, I tell him, "I can't be with you anymore. You make me miserable."
Then FULL 360 on his attitude, he starts to apologize, making up excuses, saying "I'm just bad with surprises" etc... Honestly... he's been nice ever since and sleeps on the couch... he makes me coffee... looks "remorseful" but I don't know.
Is there any way that I'm not seeing the situation correctly? Am I being harsh? Would that be a relationship breaker for you??
Let me know in the comments of you got this far.
TL;DR
I F31 surprise my boyfriend m31 for Valentine's Day with a night at a nice hotel with a jacuzzi. He reacts terribly to learning of the surprise and basically throws a tantrum. We go anyway but it's terrible and his attitude doesn't improve. I tell him it's over and he does a full 360 remorseful routine thing and has been sleeping on the couch ever since. Forgive or forget him?
Submitted February 16, 2021 at 03:25PM by wiltyinflorescence https://ift.tt/3dxoezh
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