Throwaway because my SO uses reddit.
Basic gist of the story is that I have always been very clear from day one that I did not want children. I have never seen a child in my future and because of a relatively terrible childhood i have a lot of fear surrounding parenting. When we first began dating it seemed like he was on the same page but he’s older than I am and it seems he’s changed his mind and really wants a kid.
So he more or less proposed to me saying he wanted to take the next steps together. Move in, get married AND have a child. He has already been married once so the fact that he even has gotten to this point and wants this with me should be flattering.
I love him and I know that he could provide me and a future child with a much better life then I’ve ever had. He told me he would make whatever concessions I wanted: nanny’s, daycare etc along with saying that he would support me if I wanted to start my own business.
I’m now heading towards thirty and don’t feel as rigid about kids as I used to tho the idea still fills me with an all consuming terror. If I say yes what if I regret it and feel resentful towards him and this potential child. If I say no I’ll lose him and if I decide in the future to have children I doubt it will be under these types of conditions . Raising kids is expensive and I grew up broke and constantly afraid. So if I do decide to have kids in a few years I may have missed out on giving them a truly great life.
TLDR: boyfriend wants to get married and have a child. I have always been ambivalent about kids. But he’s offering me a lot of support and security. I love him and I don’t want us to grow to resent each other but I also don’t want to regret losing out on a potentially wonderful life together.
Submitted December 23, 2019 at 04:06PM by tohaveornottohave123 https://ift.tt/2MpIyEm
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