My girlfriend [29 F] of 4 years broke up with me [M 25] via text and has entirely ghosted me. How do I try to understand it? and attempt to even move past this?

I met my now ex-girlfriend online a bit over 4 years ago and for whatever reason we really hit it off. We started out long distance I was studying in the US, but due to move back to the UK shortly and she in was working on a PhD in Denmark. We stayed as friends at first me needing time to move past my previous and fairly abusive 4 year relationship that had recently ended and she was caring for her terminally ill ex-boyfriend during last few months alive.

In the end it took around 2 years to close the gap with me moving back to the UK and her moving nearby. The 2 years being mostly due to her, as I saw it slowing things down, and considering how her previous relationship had ended it didn't feel right to rush her into anything. I guess I had ignored a red flag when it came to her finally moving over, where I was not trusted to know her address. I figured this would just be short term thing, but it was still nice enough being able to go on more regular dates. After a few months I was given the address of her flat, but even to this day I never went inside.

The rest of our relationship was fairly normal we had the occasional argument, spent a good amount of time together (and apart), and had planned out the next few years together. So, jumping forward to November 23rd/24th weekend we had been planning for it to be our moving together date. I found it slightly odd as I still at this point never even been to her place, but she had given me this date without me asking so I was happy to go along with it. On the previous night before we had disagreement about some Christmas plans, but by no means was this a big argument. We ended mutually agreeing that we didn't care about it all that much, but we would talk about it the next day.

I wake the Saturday morning to a text from her saying that she "does not feel safe" and "thinks it's a bad idea for us to live together or even date." This was the last I've heard from her personally. I had responded to the text asking to talk about it, and after getting no reply attempted to later that day both without any response. A few days pass and I drop her a few more texts, but nothing. I started to worry that maybe she had been hurt and maybe stuck alone in her flat. I reached out to her Dad. He told me that he had spoken to her on the Sunday where she "seemed fine and rational" and let him know that she had ended our relationship.

It's barely been a week and I'm still at a complete loss. I want more than anything to be able to at least understand what happened, but I don't think I'll ever be able to. Since I coming to the realization that I'll never speak or see her again is it worth trying stay in touch her Dad? or just let it go try forget about the last 4 years?

TL;DR - Girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me by text with minimal to no explanation and has completely disappeared.

Sorry for bad writing or anything like that a lot of thoughts in my head. Feel free to ask questions

Submitted December 03, 2019 at 07:45AM by Johnyzd https://ift.tt/2RjGjW8