First time poster, fuck my organization of this post and so on.
A bit of a backstory, I guess? I've never posted and don't even know where to start.
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years and this is our first big issue.
He graduated university last year and is working in his field while I just started my Master's this year.
He received and accepted a great job offer in a lab where my uncle also works. (This will be important later) This is a large lab with many different specialties and such.
A woman who was recently hired asked him out for drinks, she said that a few of them were going to hang out and invited him along. She asked for his number so she could text him when they solidified the time and place.
She called him last week and asked if he still wanted to go out, which he accepted. When he went out, she was the only one there. According to what he told me, he asked where everyone else was and she said that she didn't invite anyone else. He told her that he must have misunderstood, as he has a partner and was only interested in a friendly night out.
She claimed that that's all she wanted too. He told me all about this and I mentioned that I found it weird, but whatever.
Nothing I can do can stop someone from cheating/being an asshole, so I don't really worry about it. Plus, when we first started dating, one of his female friends told him she was interested and he told me about it/showed me the messages where he shut her down.
I did however, get a bad vibe from this woman, which I've never felt around his friends. Obviously, that's not exactly scientific proof though.
A few days later, she asks him to go for coffee, so he says "Sure, where would you like to meet?" But she tells him to come over to her place, since her ex has her kids.
He tells me this and I thought it was still a bit strange, seeing as she barely knows him, but meh. He tells me he's going over and he'll be back shortly. He was gone for about an hour. When he gets home, she immediately calls him "just to chat." He sat in the same room as me the whole time, but they were on the phone for almost an hour.
The next day comes and she calls him at 11PM (He works afternoons so he stays on that schedule even on his off days and I'm on winter break from school, so we were both still up) and asks him to come over for coffee.
I get weirded out and say something akin to "Aren't these booty call hours? Why is she inviting you to her home at 11PM?" He shrugs it off and tells me that he won't be long, and here's where it gets dicey.
He comes back home just after 2AM. At this point, I'm getting a bad feeling. I ask him how his visit was and reiterate that I found it a bit weird. He told me I was just being jealous, which surprised me since we've always been open about our friends and shit. This pissed me off so I hopped in my car, text one of our mutual friends, and went for a drive and talked it over with her in order to get a fresh perspective.
She points out that she's been friends with my partner for 10 years and has never once invited him over at 11PM, and she thinks it's sketchy that she's calling him instead of texting, especially since he hates talking on the phone, but seemingly has no problems talking to her. (She's called him at least 5 times a day since he gave her his number.)
But she calms me down by reminding me that my partner is very much an extrovert who likes to make friends and is sometimes too polite for his own good, so he probably just didn't want to shrug her off or upset her.
Which is true since I've seen him eat an entire plate of disgusting food just so he didn't upset the person who made it.
He also hasn't been acting any different and he didn't lie about where he was going.
Fast forward to today, we got up early to go to the gym, where he tells me that he wants to take me out for breakfast because he wants to talk to me.
He tells me that he's not speaking to that woman anymore and tells me that he's been getting red flags ever since she spoke to him the first time and he apologized for not noticing them.
But then he tells me that when he went over at 11PM the second day they hung out, she was hanging out in a sports bra and booty workout shorts.
And I know, dress however you want. That's fine. But not only is this Canada and it's -20C outside, I've never hung out with one of my male friends in just a bra and short shorts unless we're literally at the gym.
He told me he found it weird and asked her if she needed to get changed before they hung out and that she replied with "Oh no, this is just how I hang around the house." Despite her apparently being fully dressed the first time they hung out.
She also told him not to tell anyone at their job that they were hanging out, but numerous people have been asking him about what happened between them because she told everyone that he came over to her house. (He showed me these texts too, from 3 coworkers saying that she told all of them that he "spent the night" at her place.)
He also mentioned (and showed me) that when he gave her his number originally, she said "I'll text you a few blank texts so you know I'll be calling you soon." And he found that weird.
Then today, while we were at the gym, she text him. The texts went;
Her: Let me know when you're alone so I can call you.
Partner: Why do I have to be alone to talk on the phone?
Her: I don't want -me- around.
Partner: Why? I think his is becoming inappropriate, so please respect my boundaries and don't contact me anymore.
Her: I didn't mean it like that! I just don't want her around, but I don't want to ruin our friendship :(
She then called him 10-12 times in a row, and he blocked her number.
I'm really uncertain what to think about this, considering he didn't tell me about all of these red flags until today.
I kind of said "I fucking told you so, but ok." And we mostly finished breakfast in silence since I didn't know how to respond.
When we got home, my uncle called me from work, which has never happened in the history of my life, so I'm near panicking.
Uncle: Hey! Are you ok! What's going on!?
Me: ??? Nothing? I'm fine?
Uncle: I got worried. -woman- told me and everyone working today (they have the week off for holidays, but there were a few people in today finishing their paperwork. Also, this woman didn't know that my uncle obviously knew who I was) that -partner- went over to her place the other night but wouldn't fuck her. She fucking lost it saying that she's going to confront him for blocking her number.
Me: She did hit on him and he shut her down, as far as I know.
Uncle: I'm not surprised, she invited a few other married/unavailable men out for drinks too. I don't know what's happening, but I thought I'd let you know.
So... yeah. I don't know what to believe or what to do. My partner went to take a nap after I told him what my uncle said, but he was extremely pissed.
Not only am I still concerned that something weird might have happened, I'm also annoyed that he will now have to deal with work drama because he didn't listen to me when I mentioned how shady she was being.
I'm just wondering if I should start packing my shit now or..
Thanks for reading this fucking novel, folks.
TL;DR! My partner started hanging out with a shady woman who ultimately wants his dick and I'm unsure about the potential of him cheating.
Submitted December 23, 2019 at 02:27PM by ShirleySatanicTemple https://ift.tt/2PQuSEf
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