So about three weeks ago, my close friend and I, lets call her Emily, get in a small debate. Later that day when we usually meet up, she is not there, and when I ask what's up or if she's ok, she says "not now" and says "I can't deal with you" and says she doesn't want to talk to me. For the next two days, she completely ignores me in person and outside (we are around each other very frequently).
After an in person apology for making her feel invalid (she never got back to me what was wrong) and for upsetting her, and telling her that I really valued our friendship, she snapped back angrily and continued to ignore me. I understand that I needed to give her space, but after about a week after nothing I would ask her if she wanted to talk and that I wanted to fix our relationship.
For me, this was completely out of the blue, especially days before having helped each other out with university, and I was constantly trying the be the best friend I could be. (But again, I apologized and get maybe my debating was interpreted as a microagression.) So then after two weeks Emily never gets back to me and then starts pretending everything is fine again, which really hit me because I was emotionally hurt after that happening suddenly.
The thing is, Emily and the other two women in my friend group start excluding me. Talking with each other and not noticing me, doing groupwork without me, and then they went to see a show that I expressed heavy interest in. After asking about it to another close friend, Ira, she said it was a personal thing, but today admitted that they all went.
Today was supposed to be secret santa, and I bought a pricey gift for another friend in our group, lets call her Mary. I ended up not going after I realized tonight that after no apology for being treated unfairly, being lied to, and excluded I emotionally couldn't. So Mary, Ira, and Emily all just asked where I was and just kept asking for the gift that I got, and said that this was something we all agreed upon, even though this was before I was being treated poorly by these "friends". No one even asked me directly if I was going.
The catch is, I've known them for five years, and really cared about our friendship and kept on reaching out to fix things with no reply. After realizing they cared more about doing secret santa than me as a person, what should I do?
TLDR; Friends lie, exclude me, ignore me arbitrarily and never talk to resolve anything (after me reaching out), but expect me to show up and bring a gift to Secret Santa.
Should I keep the pricey gift I got for myself? Should I accept the gift from my person after being treated poorly and lied to by them? Should I let these friends go even if they have been the closest to me for years?
Submitted December 07, 2019 at 08:28PM by cerealspartan https://ift.tt/2LzPoXb
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