I have an genetic eye disease that caused me to start going blind when I was 16. Over the course of the last 5 years my vision has decreased and at this point I can only see vague colors and light/darkness. I basically have given up on trying to use my vision. I walk with a white cane and read Braille which I started to learn in my teens once it was clear that my vision would fully go away.
I withdrew socially for most of this time because everyone always felt sorry for me and I couldn’t stand it. I was very depressed and had a hard time connecting with people as most people my age have never dealt with anything like this and they didn’t know what to say. I don’t blame them. This past year I have accepted my reality, gotten on meds/therapy for my depression and tried to reach out more as I am very lonely. I met a girl who doesn’t feel weird around me and we became very close friends. I had a very big crush on her but I assumed a seeing person would not want to date a blind person, especially a blind person who is still trying to learn the ropes of my disability. But she actually asked me out which I was surprised by.
She is really really great. We’re really open about my blindness and she’s not afraid to ask questions about it even if they’re kind of stupid questions which I appreciate. When we had sex it was my first time doing it as a blind person and it was a fucking mess but we laughed our way through it and now it is a lot better. It’s still early days (2 months) but I really like her. I can’t see her, I can tell that she is pale with blond hair but thats about it. I have a few seeing friends and they have told me that she is beautiful and I can tell that she is really conventionally attractive because she gets a lot of compliments and attention from guys. She doesn’t show interest in them but it still makes me sad. I can’t compliment her on her makeup or outfits or face because I can’t see them. I can’t tell when she dresses up for me or when she’s done something new.
I was in one relationship in high school when I could see and I really enjoyed complimenting my then-girlfriend on things like that. I want to make my new girlfriend feel beautiful but I don’t really know how. There are lots of things I find beautiful about her like her laugh, the certain tones and cadences she has in her voice, her analytical way of thinking. I love how small her hands are and how she caresses her finger over mine when we hold hands. And she’s always swinging her legs or fidgeting in some way which I find really endearing. The sound of her breathing is a really nice sound and I’ve realized everyone’s breathing sounds a little different but the sound of hers is my favorite. She wears bracelets that jingle when she moves and I love the sound of them. There are many more things. But all of these seem stupid to say out loud. I wish I could compliment her smile or her eyes or something like that. Something that normal guys like.
Maybe it’s stupid but I’m afraid she will not feel attractive because I find it pointless to call her pretty. She knows I can’t see her. I’m afraid she will get bored and will want a guy who will compliment her on the way her face and body looks. A lot of guys already do, including my seeing friends who upon meeting her will say to me “dude she’s really hot/pretty/attractive.” How can I find a way to tell her that she really is beautiful to me even though I personally can’t see her physical beauty?
TL;DR: I am blind and struggling to find ways to compliment my gf on her beauty in a way she will appreciate.
Submitted December 04, 2019 at 11:26AM by blah2838 https://ift.tt/34S6cAe
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