Hi everyone,
This is my first ever reddit post. I’m a long time r/relationship lurker and am always impressed by this group’s honesty and compassion.
I (34F) need help and to hear your hopeful stories. 5 days ago, my boyfriend (33M) and I broke up. We’ve been together for almost 2 years, dated for a year before moving in together in February 2019. I loved him very much and we had plans for marriage and a kid. He’s a musician, hardworking, handsome, and was very attentive and affectionate for a lot of our relationship.
Here's the inevitable "but." His drinking has always bothered me. I myself made it through a horrible 7 year battle with opiate addiction, including in patient rehab and I’m now thriving. I'll have a drink here and there but don’t drink heavily. We fought multiple times when he'd be drunk at home on a random Wed night and I just didn’t want to interact with someone drunk. He’d get very emotional and negative when drinking, has yelled at me several times, hung up on me for no reason, and said things that hurt me. He was sometimes remorseful but never made any real commitment to change or very genuine apologies.
I mostly struggled with his frequent anger and irritability. He described himself as “moody.” I know I’m overly sensitive (I’m a social worker, love people, talk about my feelings easily, etc) and am working on this, but it was hard to stay in a good mood when he was grumpy. I do not treat others badly when I’m annoyed, but he’d snap at me, give me the silent treatment, etc. I tried so hard to be a great partner, be thoughtful and speak his love language. In the end, it didn’t matter, he drove home drunk last Friday night, kicked me out of bed, said fuck you and told me to go sleep downstairs (guest bedroom). I later found 1000s of texts to a girl for the past 2 months, very flirty, constituting an emotional affair. So after lots of tears, we’re done. He didn’t really want to fight for it.
Bottom line: I’m starting over and I’m so f*cking scared. I really want kids and a loving partnership and I turn 35 in 5 months. Can you give me hope and share your stories of finding love and building a family after things fell apart?
TL;DR As a 34F, I’m ending a relationship that I’m very sad about. I’m also scared about starting over and building the things I want in life. I can work hard and have good supports, but will it be too late? Can you give me hope and share your stories of finding love and building a family after things fell apart?
Edit: DAMN guys! I woke up to so much inspiration and great advice. Thank you so much. I know I will be rereading your replies a lot, especially when things get tough. I’ll take some time to focus on myself—I thought I’d done a ton of work (you know, recovery) but obviously there’s more to do since I went and picked an angry alcoholic.... Thanks again reddit.
Submitted November 14, 2019 at 05:43PM by nowherebut_up https://ift.tt/2NStjVr
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