Last year, my husband converted to Islam. Neither he or I was raised religious so this came as a shock. I always thought he felt the same about it all as I did, I'm an agnostic and have never felt a particular connection to anything that I would call "God". When he started getting interested in Islam I thought it was more a cultural interest rather than a religious one and I would jokingly say "You're not going to become a Muslim now, are you?" I felt so terrible when he told me of his decision to convert and that he had been frightened of my reaction because I have always been so flippant of religion in the past.
Since then, I have tried really hard to be supportive, I have tried making it as easy as I can for him to pray (not an easy feat considering how tiny our home is) and have been very respectful of his new diet, making sure to never buy food he can't eat, etc. Although not a believer myself, I try to be respectful of other people's faith because I realize it is a very personal experience for them and not worthy of mockery, I do have my issues with organized religion, however, as I believe religious people can become susceptible to extreme dogma that only works to harm and alienate others. At first I was confident this wouldn't happen to my husband, but now I'm starting to get the impression that he is becoming much more intense and conservative than he used to be, making weirdly puritanical remarks about sex before marriage and divorce, and worst of all, I believe that he truly thinks I'm going to hell for not being a Muslim.
In the beginning he assured me that he did not expect me to convert and there was no reason we couldn't be together just the same, he always said that Islam did not judge people for not being Muslim and that only one's actions are important to God. Last night, however, we were having a talk and I was asking him about his faith, I do this every now and again and it makes him uncomfortable, like he's trying to keep something from me. I don't remember how it happened but he finally said something along the lines that yes, you would go to hell for not being a Muslim.
I was actually pretty calm about the whole thing at the time, but it's been torturing me all day today. I love my husband, we have been together for over a decade with plenty of ups and downs, but I have never felt so devalued by him before. The idea that he thinks I, a decent enough person who tries to be good, that he claims to love, am going to suffer for eternity just for not joining up with the right club is intolerable to me. I don't know what to do, this feels like a deal breaker to me but the thought of leaving him fills me with such intense pain I can't bear it. But how can I spend the rest of my life with someone who will quietly accept that my afterlife is going to be spent in never ending pain? I may not believe that's what's going to happen but he does, this feels cruel.
I guess I don't know what kind of comments I expect to get, but please no Islamophobia, I may have issues with organized religion but I don't want to see any bigoted comments on here, Islam is no worse a religion than any other.
TL;DR My husband thinks I'm going to hell because I'm not religious.
Submitted November 01, 2019 at 08:44PM by Appropriate_Ant https://ift.tt/2NaWUcl
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