My [21 F] feelings always get really hurt by my family because they're accustomed to speaking in loud voices.

I am button-proof for the most part. I am actually really hard to trigger. One of my roommates last year used to say the meanest things to me and I didn't care. People have even apologized for things they said, and I've always said their apologies weren't necessary since what they said never bothered me.

The one soft spot I have is loud voices. Being yelled at is something I can't take. It always puts me in a bad mood.

Not conveniently, I come from a family where everyone is accustomed to yelling. Both my mom and dad are Italians born and raised in Manhattan. That means one thing. They're loud.

I guess part of this is genetic. For some reason, the "I don't get bothered by loud voices" gene skipped me. I have two brothers and neither of them have ever had an issue with this.

On little things, my mood is going to be ruined and I shut down. This happens all the time when I'm with my family. It might be getting cold in the car, and my mom will tell me to close the window. Her natural way of speaking to family members is to yell it. She always says "that's just my voice," but I can't get used to it.

I could list so many examples of this.

Sometimes it's actual important stuff they need to tell me, and my feelings get really hurt because of how their tone. Oh my God I'm getting frustrated just thinking of the countless times this has happened. It happens a lot that I completely miss the point of the discussion since my feelings got hurt by their tone.

They don't have this issue in professional settings, but I guess that's because you're just wired to speak differently in those. When you're with family, you're wired to be more casual.

Ideally, I want to work on being less sensitive to loud voices. Telling my family to stop talking in loud voices is like trying to stop a cat from meow-ing.

Not coincidentally, my family thinks I'm really sensitive. Outside my family, people think I'm made of Teflon. I can take any burn, roast, whatever. My roommates have even complimented me in that I always stay calm - even when they get really heated. Being yelled at is my only soft spot.

When we text each other, I have never had any issue. When we speak in person, all hell breaks loose. I have had really good days get ruined because of this.

Do you have any advice?

EDIT: Thank you all for your kindness and advice!

TL;DR: My family has really loud voices. I'm otherwise button proof, but loud voices are my soft spot. In-person interactions with my family often hurt my feelings.

Submitted November 07, 2019 at 08:22AM by Rose_Ariana https://ift.tt/2WV9xeM