I'll try to keep this to the key points.
My mum is one of the biggest sources of stress in my life, which is why I've moved across the country to avoid her. I'm currently working through a degree in a subject that's supposed to be difficult, but my stress levels have dropped massively. I see her maybe three times a year now, and keep up over text.
When I say my mum is stressful, what I mean is:
- She refuses to get treatment for her (specifics unknown to me, but she has had treatment before) mental illness, and often thinks she's going to be the saviour of the world.
- For months on end it's impossible to have a normal conversation with her that doesn't involve her talking about her plans and you having to agree with her that they're all great and she's an expert without her getting angry and upset at you.
- Her behaviour forced me to find a way out of the house at 18 after we had a major disagreement about me being gay (I am gay). I then lived with friends for several months. She eventually stopped being angry and became quasi-supportive but I'm still on edge whenever I see her.
Now for the stalking: My mum says that when my siblings (17F, 15M) have left home, she wants to go and move around to wherever we're currently living for a few months, then just keep rotating around different kids, I guess. I don't doubt that she has the means to do it, so I'm taking this seriously.
While she clearly can't enact this plan for several years, she's had this plan for several years. I've tried to gently say that I don't want her to live with me for a few months out of the year but she switched to saying she could rent in the same city.
I absolutely hate the idea of this. I do not want her to do it. If my siblings like the idea, fine, but I do not want to be involved. I also do not want her to make life plans that involve visiting me for extended periods of time, because if she does, I will avoid her in that city too. I just don't want to see her that often.
I don't want to destroy what remains of our relationship. I'm aware that if it came to it then I could get a restraining order on her, but I really don't want to. If I explain how I feel then it will absolutely break her heart.
She is divorced from my father and has trouble making and keeping friends, so I think she just doesn't want to be lonely.
What should I do next? How do I approach her about this?
TL;DR: Scary mum wants me to follow me and my siblings wherever we go when we've all left, I want her to not do that.
Submitted November 09, 2019 at 02:23AM by relationshipsthrow36 https://ift.tt/2qG1XZj
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