I tried posting to r/AmITheAsshole and got perma-banned, so let’s give this sub a shot because I really need some genuine advice.
I’m 23, and my parents divorced when I was 11. This is gonna sound weird, but their relationship post-divorce improved tenfold; they’re very close friends to this day.
A big reason for the split was dad’s family. They absolutely hate my mom. My grandpa was the only one who liked her (adored her, tbh; treated her like his own kid, and me like gold) but when he died....shit hit the fan. My dad fell into deep depression / alcoholism. Mom was subjected to genuine abuse and harassment at the hands of his family. Hence the divorce.
I avoided my dad’s family for some time, and he never pressured me into seeing them. He knows they’re nuts. My grandmother once left a voicemail on the home phone that was so threatening I can’t describe it here, because it’ll get my post removed.
This year I went to the family reunion because I missed my cousins and my uncle, and I knew it would mean a lot to Dad.
My grandmother spent most of the day “showing me off” to relatives who hadn’t seen me in a while, crowing about how “I look just like my dad” and I’m a “pure his last name through and through”. She’d talk about how I have his eyes and his nose, etc. here’s the thing: Not one syllable of that is true. I am pretty much my mom’s mini-me. I’m not as pretty as she is, but I have the same hair, eyes, skin, lips, everything.
Now, the family members who loathe my mom are all women. I hate to say this, but I’ve always suspected they were jealous of her looks; I know all kids believe their moms are pretty; but mine truly is. My aunts are catty in the way immature women can sometimes be when they’re jealous. I’ve also suspected they hated how much dad loved her, and they feel like he was “stolen” from them by this evil siren-witch.
So after a while of grandma making these comments I said “you know I look just like my mom, right?” And she replied “i don’t know how you came to believe that lie.” I said “hating her won’t make her any less my mom.” My dad at this point was trying to intervene, but shit was about to go down. My grandma told me “I love you because you’re one half your dad. Beyond that I can’t say anything kind about you or that woman.” I snapped and told her she’s an evil, jealous monster who drove our family apart.
She demanded I leave her house and forced dad to choose whether to stay at the reunion with them, or go out with me. Dad chose me. But he was fighting tears the whole drive back and I have never seen my father cry. It’s like I ruined all hope for his family ever being civil.
TLDR: i called my grandmother out for hating my mother, and wanting to pretend she’s not a part of me / my dad’s life. It really crushed my dad and I feel like a jerk.
Edit: dad’s 55, mom’s 52, grandma’s in her seventies and I don’t know the ages of all my aunts.
Submitted November 10, 2019 at 11:43AM by letmebesurprised https://ift.tt/2CxKx41
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