Disclaimer:Throwaway being used and couple details have been changed. The main one being that my dad doesn’t ACTUALLY want to be a ‘cake decorator’ but the business he wants to start is pretty niche (yet still creative) so I changed his “idea” to ‘cake decorator’ for privacy’s sake.
Firstly, sorry for the long novella below. Had more to say than I realized.
So I guess I’ll properly start by saying, I have a pretty good relationship with my family. I grew up in a loving household, with my mom, dad and brother.
After high school both me and my brother moved out, and are financially independent young adults (aka neither of us are rich but we have jobs and can pay our respective rent and bills on-time). So this is not about money.
We were a lucky enough family we were a single income household, with my dad earning the money.
Recently my dad has gotten...a bit weird...whenever there are family gatherings he spouts all these weird ideas and then gets offended when there’s any push back, or when someone says “hey maybe that’s not such a great idea.” At first we thought it was a mid-life crisis but things have gotten progressively weirder. Sometimes he will act on these ideas with little to no concern about how his weird actions affect others.
Some of weird Ideas/actions include:
-talking about buying a completely and totally impractical car
-selling their home, getting a mini camper van and road tripping across America (no employment plans)
-waking up at 3am (this is literally not an exaggeration) to drive to the golf course (20 minutes away from my parents house) to “be the first one on the green” when they open.....at 7am. We have always been invited on these early morning golf excursions and my mom has actually joined him on a number of these...so that’s literally what he is doing...sitting in a parking lot for 4 hours getting hyped about golf.
-taking out a loan to buy a horse. Literally for no reason.
-taking out a second loan to buy a second horse. Because he didn’t want the first horse “to be lonely.” My dad doesn’t ride horses.
-seriously talking non-stop about population control as a way to save the earth (like calm down Thanos) and wanting to start a non-profit that promotes population control
-renting an apartment in a small city, that no one in my family has ever been to, 8 hours away, in case one day “he wants to see that city.” He has been to this apartment exactly one time and was upset when no one in the family understood “why” he did this.
But by far the weirdest one is he wants to quit his job to start a cake-decorating business. He knows absolutely nothing about cake decorating and when asked to practice he become angry. Claiming this is a skill that will come naturally to him?!?
This isn’t like he’s quitting his job and becoming an independent consultant in the field he is in. No. This is like quitting his job to do something he has no education or training or experience in whatever-so-ever.
He basically has no plan beyond, “oh cake decorating looks fun.” No idea on legal requirements, no start up capital, no business plan, and most importantly...no cake decorating experience!!
I know all businesses start as an idea but when mentioning, “hey dad maybe you should take a class in this first to see if you actually like it?” He gets super offended. Acts like we don’t trust him and accuses us of not supporting “his life-long dream” that no one has ever heard about.
I worry about what the state of my parents retirement will be if he does this. My mom so far has been calling his bluff, since he hasn’t quit his job yet, but she recently pulled me aside and told me she’s been interviewing (after 25 years out of the work force) because she’s beginning to think he’s serious. Her main concern isn’t really the money but losing insurance as they begin to head into old age.
I also worry that he’s just doing this as part of this weird ass mid-life crisis he’s having right now. My dad never used to be like this and about two years ago he started cooking up all these weird plots. And I haven’t even mentioned all the strange stuff he talks about. Sometimes I actually really worry he’s losing his mind.
The worst part is feeling like I can’t talk to him about how crazy this all is, he always used to be open and receptive, but recently he freaks out if you try to point out that maybe quitting your job to become a completely unexperienced cake decorator isn’t the best idea.
Guys...I love my dad, he’s worked incredibly hard for my family, and I want him to pursue his dreams, and if that really means quitting his stable job to pursue a passion, I’d be happy to do that...but I’m not sure this actually IS his passion. He never used to be so....unconventional? I don’t really mind him being a bit out there but...like I feel like I can’t even talk to him anymore. Any advice on how to broach the subject with him without him feeling like im stopping all over his dreams?
TL;DR: My dad is currently having the mid-life crisis of the century. He responds badly to attempts to talk about why it is a poor idea to quit his job and start a business in something he has no experience with. Any tips on how I can get him to hear me/think about this more seriously?
Submitted August 25, 2019 at 04:48AM by cakedecoratingdad https://ift.tt/2PejsvJ
No comments:
Post a Comment