I (21f) told my partner (23m) after he cheated on me I'd forgive him but to never delete his search history again or I'd leave. He did it again

Even though I said I'd leave him I'm so torn. Because I don't have anything definitively evidence of cheating I kind of feel like I can't do anything.

As stated, my boyfriend cheated on me. During the time he deleted his search history and things like that so I told him not to that anymore, you shouldn't need too. Especially when his phone is the new iPhone X to be "making room" because it has a lot of gigabytes. I also requested his accounts because even though he had had mine the whole time, he had his on 2 step login and would only give it to me if I asked directly and act mad about that I asked even though he'd constantly monitor me obsessively almost.

My boyfriend has always banned me from following the opposite gender and liking their pictures on Instagram which I agreed to as long as he gave me the same respect. (He never did) Right after he cheated he was liking girls bikini pics and following a lot of them but still tripping out on me about any dude. I told him he should be trying to gain my trust now not showing he was still interested in other girls. He stopped liking the pics but still followed them.

I asked for his Facebook because he had deleted it after he cheated and was on it again a lot. I found he was searching a lot of girls up. A lot of the same names showed up on his Instagram search as well. So I asked him who these girls where that he was looking up on both accounts and this is where it gets wierd.

The first he said was a random he accidentally followed on Instagram (he immediately unfollowed her) and when asked why he searched her on Facebook as well if she was random, was told "I accidentally followed her and she had no pictures so I was curious who see who it was". Usually I'd just unfollow and forget about them but whatever. The second he said was a cousin. But out of his multiple tries to find the girl only the top search was erased later, assumedly the girl he was looking for. But why delete the history if it was just your cousin? I asked about one more which was apparently just an "old school friend" though its interesting how many old female friends he remembers by name out of the blue compared to males. Literally not a single guy from high school. Only females. Sorry if you ask me to believe you where that popular. After that he shut down his entire Facebook. He said it was so "i wouldnt get mad" and "i wouldn't have to worry" and so "he wouldnt cheat or do anything dumb". But you should have enough self control to be able to use Facebook without looking up tons of girls and I should be able to trust him using it. I just wanted to know who these people are especially when he always freaks out on me. When I logged back in saying that was unnecessary of him to do he could keep Facebook, I saw he deleted his search of all the girls. And he immediately shut down his Facebook again. I said I'd overlook it but again. Don't delete history.

Then a girls name disappears off his search. I didnt ask who it was before until it disappeared because that was the only thing he deleted and like why? He claimed it was a fake account and I told him I said not to delete anything. I found out later he deleted it because he opened another account where he searched it up and other girls instead. He most likely didn't want me seeing it anymore how that he thought he had a way of hiding it? When I asked to see his phone and pretended to notice his second account for the first time, he grabbed his phone before I could look at it claiming I'd get mad. And that he hadnt been on that account in years. I asked him if he looked up girls having already seen it, and he said no. But he wouldnt let me see his phone and when I said I've never done that to him he claimed I did. Also saying I always looked up my ex monthly but it was a guy I dated long distance before I was even 18 so that would make no sense. Meanwhile he does actually search certain girls up monthly, more almost weekly. And I pointed out I dont delete my history like him, I'd remember that and he kinda hmphed like I was lying but you cant make me believe I did something like that. I'd remember. I even checked my search to make sure it wasnt him or something. He's kinda done that before saying I was doing shit I knew I wasn't (but kinda suspected him of??)

Howver even though he lied I have no proof he did anything. To me its wierd to constantly look girls up by name and idk when he'd be cheating and last time he cheated he also claimed not to have seen anyone but he has lied about his location before. It's just I never know anything for sure so sometimes I feel like maybe I should just ignore it but it really bothers me.

I also feel unhappy because he often calls me dumb over little things and just because I looked up a rash online, it escalated into a huge fight where he called me dumb bitch repeatedly and just correct me if I'm wrong but this isn't ol unless you did something super wrong right? And he feels so justified after "it's because you're dumb sometimes". Then only the next day actually apologize but constantly flip flop between yeah you're dumb to I'm sorry you're not.

If I break up with him he owes me rent so I'd have to wait til he pays me otherwise get kicked out of where I'm living. So he'd say I just used him (definitely not when I gave him 700$ this month and he's only making up 300 of it) just because "hes paid for stuff before " even though so have I. But if I try to tell him that he'll somehow shut me down in a way where I get confused how I went from knowing I was right to doubting myself and thinking maybe it was me doing something. Also hell want to talk which means getting in the car but he'd drive me far away and abandon me somewhere without a phone because the only one I have is one he bought me. So don't get in the car but I also dont want to text break up. It's just he's going to want to talk about it but if we "talk about it" it's going to be hard for me becuas shes going to pull out all his manipulating tricks. And he'll say how i have no proof and i was just trying to leave him for no reason when the real reason is I'm not really happy anymore. I never get to go out and I'm stuck in a relationship that has no trust and constant monitering and hes still acting wierd which makes me think hes doing something. But it's also not all bad which is why I stay and idk I'm just really stuck.

TLDR: boyfriend promised not to delete history after cheating only to do it again and act strange when asked to see phone

Submitted August 01, 2019 at 10:06AM by puttyspinedwuss https://ift.tt/2T2c7hc