Me [27 M] with my ex-GF [25 F] ~1.5years, she dumped me recently, keeps saying we have no chance of recovery, but also keeps stalking me and remains hyper jealous

Can someone explain what's happening?

I've had a relationship with a wonderful girl since last year. Things got bumpy, and she ended up giving up on our relationship kinda recently. I've been trying to get back with her, but with no success. She keeps blocking me, telling me she doesn't want me, telling me it's over, etc.

However, last week, I found out that she was actually stalking one of my social media accounts! She admitted that she's watched it 3x a week for a few months now, and that she saw me doing things on it. She became furious!

A few days ago, some girls were mentioning me on a group chat, and she noticed. She became angry and jealous toward me, and started doing things to piss me off. She kept swearing that we have no chance and that she's seeing someone else.

Just now, she accused me yet again of doing things on a social media app (she's had me blocked on this one for ages), and she's mad again! She's blocked me, said we have no chance of recovering, no chance of getting back together, and blocked me completely.

Does she want me still? If she's following my movements, and keeps getting jealous, and checks up on me when I go silent, she's clearly still interested, right? But she keeps swearing she doesn't care about me, that she hates me and wants me gone, and has actually done some hurtful stuff.

Wtf is happening??? I want her back but I can't read her at all anymore!

I genuinely love this girl. And she definitely loves me back, or at least did. I think she still does based on her behavior. She's struggled with anxiety disorders in the past, but it's never been to this extreme degree. I really don't know what to do. I don't know if this is her anxiety acting up, if it's her messing with my head, if it's her legitimately moving on, etc. Because if it's her brain messing with her, then there's no way I can abandon her. But if she's being consciously damaging, then it's different. Idk, I normally just try to figure things out logically and trust my gut, but I can't figure her out at all anymore. It's like she's become a different person.

TLDR: gf dumped me, swears we have no chance of recovery, but she continues to stalk me, watch my movements, gets extremely jealous, and does things to make me jealous af too. Does this mean she still wants me?

***edit: in your opinions, have I become an abuse victim? There's like 50 people all telling me the same thing and I'm still in denial right now.

**edit2: I did some reading, it sounds like her and I were extremely emotionally abusive toward one another. It also seems as if we might be in trouble for some time lol fml

***edit3: People keep saying that I should listen to her when she says it's over. The problem is that she's said similar multiple times in the past, and has never meant it. She's always wanted me to fight for her. For example, one time, she was trying really hard to convince me that it's time to break up. After arguing back and forth, I decided to say something like, "okay, well I really hate this situation, but if you think you're better off without me, then I have to accept." And immediately, she broke into tears, saying she can't believe I would give up on her. It was the most heartbreaking thing I ever saw. She was so hurt. She wanted me to fight. After that night, I've never allowed myself to give up, which is probably why I'm still slamming my head against a brick wall.

edit4: I'm sorry if I'm in severe denial right now, but are you sure she's abusive? She used to sacrifice so much for me, she used to do so much for me, she even prioritized me over herself for a while. She had gone out of her way to do so many things to make me happy, little things to make me smile. She'd cancel commitments for me. She offered to pay for literally everything we did. We'd have the time of our lives when we were together and things were good. Has she really been a monster all along? I honestly can't believe this dude. Nearly one full year of being in heaven with her, ever since Feb of last year. In December we started having fights that we seemingly couldn't recover from. And in March of this year is when things started taking a notable nosedive. I don't understand. Some people are saying I'm addicted to her - and yes I am. I spent 10+ hours a day with her, every day without fail, ever since ~Feb of last year. She gave me heaven. How am I supposed to just break away?

Submitted July 04, 2019 at 06:07AM by ComfortablePatience https://ift.tt/2Nvssff